Hey, guys! Belchic here with another commentary for you wonderful people!
Hey kids, guess what month it is!
*plays clip from the ChrisChan video*
ChrisChan: JULAAAAYYYYYYYY!
That's right. It's July. Not only that, but it's in this very month where Disneyland will be having its official Diamond Anniversary. I decided to celebrate the occasion by doing a special commentary on a video that is Disneyland-related. Now, the video I am about to show you is actually a rare souvenir video that Disneyland gave out back in 1982. It's not horrible, but it's really corny. It features a man and a little girl taking a tour of Disneyland while following a girl chasing a yellow balloon. Keep in mind, this is from 1982, so it is kind of dated, so if you've been to Disneyland recently, you may notice some things that are no longer there. Well, this video I am about to commentate on is hilarious. So without further ado...
*plays clip from PAW Patrol*
Zuma: Let's dive in!
Oh, and just a side note to
babclayman: A lot of the stuff I'm going to say in this commentary is supposed to be satirical, so try not to take it too seriously. Okay? Enjoy!
0:11 - Ah, yes. You gotta love that Walt Disney Home Video logo with the rotating neon Mickey. As scary as it was, nothing beats a classic logo. And for the record, we are not watching Winnie the Pooh.
0:27 - Let me repeat: this is from 1982, so I don't understand why we are listening to Disco-styled music. Wasn't Disco already dead by this time?
0:46 - I don't know if it's just me, but I have a sneaky suspicion this man is going to molest this little girl!
1:04 - Yes, except Disney characters usually don't stand outside the main gate.
1:11 - Fortunately, they give you plenty of time to read that.
1:20 - Because that's where everyone starts when they first enter Disneyland. Also, I think that balloon vendor decided to give that girl a yellow balloon because he had so many and wanted to get rid of them. Hardly anyone likes yellow as a color, and this shows.
1:33 - If memory serves, the horse-drawn trolleys are the only vehicles that are more than one.
1:48 - That must have been before my time.
2:06 - We just got here, and she already wants to buy a souvenir. Speaking of souvenirs, what is this that I'm watching?
2:37 - Whoa! I didn't know characters also worked at the shops!
2:44 - Yes, I get it. Those are flowers! Man, does this camera guy know when to take a break?
3:04 - That looks dangerous.
3:19 - Sounds more like she's psychic!
3:35 - Because as we all know: balloons have minds of their own!
4:01 - Yeah, sure. Show the tiki garden, but not the Tiki Room! You do know that there is an attraction there, right? Not just any attraction, but a revolutionary attraction made up by Walt himself! I guess it's not that important to you.
4:20 - They're just robots, you know!
4:25 - It's always annoying that when you forget one thing, and people have to remind you. Also, did this girl start talking like Piglet?
4:44 - Oh, there's something you don't see everyday...but I do...more or less.
4:53 - I guess he's met Trader Sam.
5:20 - Hey, wait a minute! They forgot to talk about Indiana Jones back at the Adventureland part...oh, that's right. That ride hadn't opened yet.
5:46 - Really? Who is going to catch you on that ride?
6:09 - I wonder who this guy is. I swear I heard his voice somewhere before.
6:28 - I think it's kind of ironic that there's a band playing "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" in the background. I wonder if this was a foreshadowing of what was about to open in a few years.
6:50 - You know what? This girl sounds a lot like Sweetie Belle. I'm just going to imagine her as that character for the rest of this video.
7:17 - Just cause we saw the balloon.
7:32 - Sweetie Belle certainly knows Disneyland very well. But hey, this is one of the park's most popular attractions, so why bypass it?
7:40 - Yes! We heard you the first time!
7:48 - Man, what a d!ck! Don't trust him about anything, Sweetie Belle!
8:06 - The camera man takes us through the Haunted Mansion while we play unfitting music.
8:43 - If anything, I'd be more scared of him than I would the ghosts! As I said from the beginning, he could be a child mollester. Unless these two know each other, I don't trust this f*g**t at all.
8:49 - Thank heavens? For what? If you're comparing it to the Haunted Mansion, ghosts may be scary, but they can't hurt you, but on the other hand, bears can eat you alive!
9:00 - Oh, and they're playing "The Bear Necessities"! How ironic. I guess they couldn't get the rights to play any of the songs from the show.
9:13 - That's not Zeb, it's Ernest!
9:23 - *plays clip from "The Muppets Christmas Carol"*
Statler: What a terrible pun! Where do you get these?
Waldorf: Leave comedy to the Bears, Ebenezer!
*they both laugh*
9:48 - I thought he sang, "Blood on the Saddle".
10:09 - Too bad this successful show was too good to last. As of 2001, it's gone...to make room for a Winnie the Pooh ride!
10:12 - Hey, B'rer Bear is there! Again, foreshadowing?
10:26 - Yeah, except that you see your reflection in there, which kind of gives it away.
10:57 - Today, this attraction only operates seasonally, since it's now a prop that's always used on Fantasmic.
11:06 - Again with the unfitting music?
11:30 - All ruined thanks to those overrated Pirates movies with Johnny Depp!
11:47 - Either Sweetie Belle is a huge fan of the author, Mark Twain, or she really loves landmark attractions.
12:35 - Finally, something thrilling!
12:50 - What's wrong, Sweetie Belle? Maybe you can get your Cutie Mark in thrill-seeking! Oh, wait, you tried that already, and look how it turned out.
13:09 - Yeah, you were expecting a calm ride through Nature's Wonderland? Ha!
13:26 - I always thought the Rainbow Ride music from "Super Mario 64" would be a perfect soundtrack to play on this ride.
13:47 - Well, there were no hunters trying to kill us, and I didn't see any rock slides.
0:13 - It's not like we saw him before.
0:35 - Hmm. I wonder what they could possibly represent. It's a mystery!
0:45 - Yeah, as if the shape wasn't a giveaway. Mickey is such a master of disguise, we really needed that extra hint. The raisins, cherry and pineapple really make the difference!
0:54 - I wonder how many there are today.
1:37 - Yeah, because right now, it's currently under construction. The dark rides are getting renovated, and the classic spinning rides are getting relocated. I'm sure we won't see those in this video.
2:07 - The one Fantasyland attraction that I always felt was out of place, considering it's the only thrill ride in Fantasyland, the one land made specifically for kids.
2:19 - What else have you not told Sweetie Belle yet?
2:43 - He's staring into your soul!
3:09 - Remain seated please. Permanecer sentado por favor.
3:18 - Yeah, because even though there are a lot more Fantasyland attractions, like I said, they're all under construction.
3:29 - This girl knows a lot more about Disneyland than we think! Maybe she knows too much!
4:14 - *shows clip from "The Simpsons"*
Krusty: ...What the hell is that?
4:26 - Am I the only one who finds that politically incorrect?
4:35 - I don't remember Small World having so many neon lights.
4:43 - *plays YTP clip*
Robotnik: NO!
Cadpig: I didn't think so.
5:19 - R.I.P., Walt. We all love ya.
5:44 - Walt was one of the few people who could do that. He was the man!
6:10 - Thank goodness! That would have been beyond creepy! And not to mention dangerous!
7:06 - What the hell kind of a laugh was that?
7:20 - Okay, what's going on? Is Sweetie Belle getting a tickle attack from...WHOA! I'm not even gonna touch that one! (No pun intended.)
7:30 - Okay, that looked like something from a silent comedy from the 1920's.
7:43 - Still to this day, I find it hard to believe it only took that long. Today, a single attraction takes 2 or 3 years to complete!
8:15 - Okay, we apologize for that interruption, folks. We now return to your show already in progress. Shouldn't that part have been at the end?
8:31 - Well, he did in
A Goofy Movie, and in several Disney shorts.
8:38 - Poppycock! This ride's on a track!
8:49 - I guess this was before the Mark V models were introduced.
9:00 - Not so revolutionary anymore. Now, it's nothing but an empty track.
9:10 - I miss those Autopia cars. Why'd they have to upgrade them?
9:15 - Pfft! Yeah, give the Skyway only one second of spotlight. That's like the #1 most missed attraction at the park. I'm sure fans will be outraged.
9:20 - That's what the original ride was loosely based on before it eventually became a Finding Nemo ride.
9:27 - Oh boy. Enjoy this attraction while you can, folks. Once 1988 gets here, you will never see it again!
9:30 - Yeah, let's see if Sweetie Belle does this attraction justice!
9:56 - Even though this show had nothing to do with the Tomorrowland theme, it was still an awesome show.
10:26 - And that's why it was called the Carrousel Theater.
10:34 - Sweetie Belle, I think you're a little young to use the word, "gay". When I was your age, I got in trouble for saying that word once.
10:56 - I thought they were going to pull off an Abbot and Costello sketch there.
11:04 - By the way, notice a lot of characters in this segment are holding beer. Talk about being politically incorrect.
11:25 - Yeah, those songs aren't so modern anymore.
11:45 - They really went into a lot of detail on this attraction. Too bad it didn't stay long enough.
11:51 - And yet you didn't like Big Thunder Mountain, the Matterhorn and the Haunted Mansion?
12:00 - They're reading from a script?
12:03 - Hey wait a minute. We didn't get to see the inside of Space Mountain! And what about Mission to Mars, and the Rocket Jets, and the Adventure Thru Inner Space? Oh, well. I guess time got the better of them.
12:15 - Was that lady holding a giant stuffed Pikachu? Oh, no, it was a bag with a stuffed Mickey. Weird bag.
12:28 - It is.
12:37 - *plays clip from Monty Python and the Holy Grail*
Narrator: And there was much rejoicing.
Knights: Yay!
12:44 - But unless you're a passholder, and you're not blocked out, you'll have to pay to get in.
12:53 - Next to the bathroom, of course.
13:08 - I guess I know who to blame for the unfitting music in this video now.
13:27 - The only nice film I'm going to see is "101 Dalmatians" at this rate.
13:36 - And yet they never credited Sweetie Belle and her pedophile friend.
Well, final verdict: I guess this video was good for its time, but it could have been a little better...with better music arrangements, better attraction coverage, and having it not seem as creepy.
I remember they made another souvenir video of the same name in I think 1991, but this version has no narrator and is focused around the Disney characters. If you want to see that one, it's on YouTube as well. It's too bad they don't make these anymore.
Well, I apologize if this commentary seemed more like a Rifftrax, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless.