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Post by Trey_Vore on Jun 20, 2007 23:03:58 GMT -5
I think my reviewing capablities might have enhanced themselves a bit since my last review...
Fanfic review: It ends now!
Classification: Go back! What was that?
Summary: Sometimes, it's tough to be a critic...
Score: 7.0 (good, from 0 to 10)
Oy, sometimes it can be hard to be a reviewer. It's one thing to criticize an officially canon episode of "101 Dalmatians: the Series", as it is an episode that the company can take without any serious drawbacks. But reviewing a fanfiction, on the other hand, can be daunting. It was written by a series fan who may not appreciate the things that the critic would say. But now, some of the heat surrounding the fic appears to have died down a bit, and, without further ado...
'It ends now!'--Belchic and Tippy rat out Tic-Tac's newest plot to their friends and it's up to them, Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly, Spot, Two-Tone and Noggin to end Tic-Tac's bids to kill Lucky once and for all.
I will start by saying that like how the directors at the Termite's Terrace had different portrayals of Bugs Bunny (Tex Avery's was manic and archaic, Chuck Jones', the most popular, was innocent and childlike, Friz Freleng's was dull and vulgar and Robert McKimson's was just bland), the fanfic writers and fanartists on the board all seem to have different depictions of Tac's OC character Tic-Tac. Tac's depiction is wicked yet quietly disturbed, Two-Tone's, I think, is devious, my depiction (like in my first story and the "Devious eyes" pic that Tac seems to like very much) seems to be megalomaniacal, etc.
On the other hand, Belchic's depiction of Tac's character in this story seems more comedic in nature. That's far from a criticism; a happen to like a villain with a sense of humor. I do enjoy Belchic's general fanfiction stories; they know their focus very well and are consistent with the series (I am not against any OCs, but many "101 Dalmatians: the Series" fanfiction that I see are busy focusing on an overabundance of fan characters while the Main Pups are lucky to even get a cameo). I enjoyed the references to earlier fanfics; like the line involving Noggin's "Human Tongue" formula and Belchic's "flimshaw" line that was borrowed from my fic. ;D I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the sequence involving Belchic and Tippy trying to break down the door reminded me of Mario and Bowser's attempt to crash Booster's quasi-forced wedding to Princess Peach in the Super Nintendo video game "Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars".
As far as character development goes, I know I have a good idea of what Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly and Spot are like, and Two-Tone gets a lot of attention on these boards. I am already familiar with Belchic's first two characters Belchic and Noggin (especially after their introduction to me in his story "Pup and Down"). In the process, I now get to know more about Tippy, Belchic's official girlfriend. I think the two of them do have some chemistry together; on the other hand, Belchic's other two OC pups, Jerko and Konami, don't really get Tippy's brand of development in this story. They would need some development more than Belchic and Noggin do. It would have been nice if they could have stuck around longer, unless they are only meant to be 'bit part, taken only in moderation' characters (like how in "The Simpsons", Ralph Wiggum is a great character, but only in small doses; in those parts, his nonsensical phrases are funny and they go a long way. If you built a whole episode around him, he just becomes overbearing).
Midway through the fic, some of the sequences, like the Main Pups and friends having pizza and their N64 gaming part, just felt like filler until the climax. The author does a fine job setting up details in the story, like the booby traps in the gauntlet that Tic-Tac has laid out for the heroes to evade. That could have been part of a level for a 101D fan's video game idea. Before the final chapter, I understand that Lucky would not want Two-Tone to get hurt in the climatic final battle, but it seems odd that Belchic and Tippy would just leave without much explanation, unless it is a throwback to Rolly and Cadpig's reason to leave Lucky to retrieve Roger's disk back from Scorch alone in "You Slipped a Disk".
And the finale, involving Noggin vs. Tic-Tac, resulted in a "Star Wars"-styled lightsaber duel that I think is a little overspoofed (for wannabe filmmakers, it is almost a 'kiss-of-death' to try and reenact anything recognizable from Star Wars). And the heat that surrounded this fic was in full force after the author decided on Tic-Tac's ultimate fate. It was a gutsy move, but...er, a Disney-based fanfic, I don't think, should end in a character getting hacked into a puddle of blood. I mean, it would be one thing if the DePuppyator acted like a boiler (that would turn a victim to ashes, only to have the story end in a "I'll be back..." equivalent), but Tic-Tac's machine was blade-based, and...ugh, its a pretty gruesome end.
Finally, I will conclude by saying of the four fanfics that I have reviewed by the author ("Pup and Down", "Battle of the Barks", the alternate "Love 'Em and Flea 'Em" and "It ends now!"), this most current fic is my least favorite. I leave it up to you to form your own opinion, but I guess I can finish by saying, "Trey_Vore has spoken".
"Huh! Guess you made monkeys out of them!" --Almost. Where's the 'Dung no Evil'?, "It ends now!"
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Post by Belchic on Jun 21, 2007 1:12:01 GMT -5
Totally understandable. Guess it wasn't wise of me to show my darker side. I don't think I've ever seen that classification on tv.com! O.O
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Post by Trey_Vore on Jan 21, 2008 0:31:48 GMT -5
Fanfic review: Alternate "Virtual Lucky" Classification: Go back! What was that? Summary: James Rolfe and 101 Dalmatians? Never thought I'd see the day... Score: 8.6 (good, from 0 to 10) Okay, I am certain that we are all familiar of Belchic's "alternate version" of the classic 101 Dalmatians episode, "Love 'Em and Flea 'Em". I felt that 2006 rewrite was a worthy different version of the ep, and that would say a lot. Many fans of the show regard that as one of their likely choices for Top 10 Best Episodes, and as you are aware, got my highest fanfic score yet. For the initated: Pup and Down - 8.9 Battle of the Barks - 8.0 Alternate "Love 'Em and Flea 'Em" - 9.0 It ends now! - 7.0 These scores are equivalent to: Pup and Down - B+ Battle of the Barks - B- Alternate "Love 'Em and Flea 'Em" - A- It ends now! - C- After being somewhat disappointed with his story "It ends now!", I am happy to report that this new version, while it does not strictly adhere to the episode (again, it's trying to find its own identity), is an improvement over his last story. Alternate "Virtual Lucky": A fanfiction rewrite of the canon episode "Virtual Lucky", guest starring Internet icon James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd. I will start by saying the being a supporter of the Angry Video Game Nerd, this story was quite entertaining. The author keeps the pups in character and manages to capture the essence of our favorite New Jersey native, curses and all. It is weird that James is capable of physically speaking with the pups (though I was willing to accept him talking with Bugs Bunny). I guess it is supposed to stay in tune with the episode (hence the lack of characters like Belchic, Noggin, Konami, Tippy, etc) although it'd probably be a riot to hear James Rolfe's opinions on Jerko, Belchic's fan-based character with James' voice. The references to the other AVGN reviews where very funny, as I find myself going back to his videos. I am aware that some people may not appreciate him due to bad language and controversial content, but there is always some charm that he manages to possess, and understands what makes a review a review (unlike another certain wannabe... ) One problem is other than the fact Cruella doesn't have any imput on James, that I think I may notice is the fact that 101 Dalmatians: the Series is meant to be kid-friendly, but the aforementioned content on James Rolfe's reviews make it seem like a mature-themed version of the show. The two styles would clash if this was meant to be a canon episode. If this was the case, we would probably see the James Rolfe that we saw in his Christmas crossover with Captain S video. The ending I thought was appropriate, with some of James' videos ending with him meeting a bizarre fate (see his review of the NES game "Dragon's Lair"), and...uh-oh...remember that 'wannabe' that I mentioned earlier? Now we have a visit from Chris Bores, the reviled Irate Gamer!! In the end, I would say again, the author Belchic managed another successful alternate rewrite of an episode. If you are a fan of 101 Dalmatians and the Angry Video Game Nerd, I am sure that you will get a kick out of this fanfic; it is actually very funny. "Part of the problem is that I'm playing Lucky. It sure would be nice if I had the choice to play Wizzer and take a piss all over her!" --Button 1 does Number 1. Button 2 does...ok, I won't go there, Alternate "Virtual Lucky"
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Post by Belchic on Jan 21, 2008 15:04:17 GMT -5
Nicely done, Trey. I was expecting you to say something about James getting introduced to "Adventures of Tron", but oh well, you didn't. I think I may need an explanation on the "Go back! What was that?" classification, like what does it mean? You also failed to mention anything about the way I modified the show's intro. Still, overall, an acceptable review.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2008 22:50:25 GMT -5
omg
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Post by Belchic on Apr 18, 2008 2:11:17 GMT -5
OMG is right! After such a long time without them, the spambots are back! Just when we thought this board was safe too.
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Post by Dana on Jun 4, 2008 18:51:44 GMT -5
Trey, what about my outfit? the tiara was perfect for me Well, actually, she had a baseball cap in one scene (went on anouther puppy later), she had the tiara in "Profit and Loss".
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Post by Two-Tone on Jun 5, 2008 19:51:56 GMT -5
This screenshot begs to differ
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Post by Belchic on Jun 5, 2008 23:19:47 GMT -5
Oh, TT? Thanks for getting rid of that spam.
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Post by Trey_Vore on Nov 12, 2008 2:12:33 GMT -5
Sorry for the delay Drake. Here's my review on your story!
Fanfic review: "Nothing to Fear"
Classification: Influential
Summary: Is it just me, or are things looking eerie?
Score: 9.1 (excellent, from 0 to 10)
To tell the truth, I never truly anticipated my characters would end up getting to be so popular. So far, no one seems to think I have any bad characters. I think Roxy's probably my most successful, and I would be hard pressed to find someone that doesn't like her. Probably not far behind is Diana. With Diana, I knew I was taking an extreme chance, considering the canon already has Cruella and the longtime favorite fan-based villain character Tic-Tac. How could I possibly create a villain that the board could take seriously? Well, after doing my story "Domina-trix aren't for Pups", I think the board seems to have warmed up to the idea of a charmingly evil female pup. I wanted to do something I felt the board didn't have and it seems I succeeded. Diana is not made to merely be a female Tic-Tac, and the board seems to have responded favorably. In the sincerest form of flattery, I am pleased to see my characters included in some other board members' fanfics. In hopefully the first of many, Diana is a central villain in the upcoming review of the story...
"Nothing to Fear"--Together with the aid of Shakila and Shayla, Diana, Emma and Stealth begin to spread a fear toxin to various farm residents and it's up to the heroes of the farm--and one unlikely two-in-one character--to stop their evil means.
I can start by saying that the author did a fine job capturing the essence of my characters, as well as the characters that some of the other board members have as well. Raiden, Slayer, Belchic, Lucky and Clayton (amongst others) all seem in character. The plot is something like the plotline utilized in "Batman Begins" about there being a fear toxin being used for an evil purpose. I enjoyed the fact there were a large number of heroes trying to stop the villains; I enjoy a story with a lot of characters so it's not merely a two/three character show. I also learned a little about Pyro and Ember as well. Drake's writing style seems to have something of a "hard edge" to it. I don't have problems with that, I guess given the dire nature of a villainous girl gang that isn't a troop of ugly hags but a team of physically desirable girls has an ominous side to it.
I was surprised to see in the first portion, Diana actually used the fear toxin on Drake! That's a mighty devious thing to do to an OC character everyone on the board recognizes, and the fact we heard from Drake's POV actually made his sudden terror seem real. The level of emotions on display are pretty strong. And the plot to have the farm level itself out of fear to rebuild to Diana's liking is mighty villainous. In addition, Shakila and Shayla are mighty bad girls themselves, I think Diana would in truth welcome them as part of group of villains.
The addition of Abel and Cain is, I would think, a bit gimmicky, but it still proved successful. Abel and Cain seem to be an interesting character paradox. And his method of defeating Diana, Emma and Stealth was pretty effective. It also helped prove the case that the Heartbreakers need to be more than just a gang of three. When Cain had sprayed Diana with the fear toxin and she started shuddering in terror was something I didn't expect she was capable of doing. However, for what she did throughout the story, I won't deny she deserved it. I'm still pondering what she possibly would be afraid of...maybe she found she was pregnant and didn't know the father?
In any case, I was pleased to see Abel and Cain successfully overpower them and Ember and Drake made a slow return to sanity. It's ultimately a very well paced story; probably the only thing I would have wanted to see was a longer length. As good as it is, maybe a longer length would have really been nice.
I would commend Drake on this short, but sweet, story. It is hard to find faults with it and I think it's a nicely done story. "Nothing to Fear" earns my recommendation.
"One for the dragon, one for Drake and the other three, destroy them…we don’t need this repeated again…” --And now you have..."Nothing to Fear"
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Post by Belchic on Nov 12, 2008 2:26:46 GMT -5
Well, this review has inspired me to read Drake's fic.
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Post by Trey_Vore on Nov 12, 2008 4:21:28 GMT -5
Fanfic review: Stealth's Lament
Classification: Needs fine-tuning
Summary: The Heartbreakers are at it again, this time with Fang on board...
Score: 7.3 (good, from 0 to 10)
The Heartbreakers seem to be a popular topic on the board. It seems like everyone wants to have a piece of the Heartbreaker pie and to be honest, I couldn't have been happier to have started such a major trend. Of course, the stories' perspectives will ultimately depend on the writer. If I write it, it's focus will be Diana, babclayman would use Malinda, Nuke would have Rob and Belchic would use Stealth. So, I begin my new review with...
"Stealth's Lament"--Diana, Emma and Stealth have captured Tippy, Joey and Lizzie and are preparing to feed them to the vicious Fang; it's up to the heroes to set them free.
I really enjoyed the beginning of the story, with all the references to the artwork I did as proposed for my video game idea. The addition of a vicious wolf as Heartbreakers' brawn is a useful new addition. However, this creates a little bit of a plothole. Stealth previously states she would want another "her, Diana and Emma" mission and claims that with the exception of Rob, the rest are 'whiny little brats'. Now, this may be Stealth 'just not knowing' them too well, but Jenny is in her league as a psycho and Malinda is also very charming. Thompson is the only member that's actually a brat.
It is also nice to get some development for newer characters like Joey and Lizzie, as well as Cantor. The first flashback to a Mega Man-type level is funny and helps give a sense of who the writer may be. It is nice that some other board members' OCs were included on the mission to rescue Tippy, Joey and Lizzie, but I pondered the use of Dakota and not Sanka. Wheter it is spite because I chose against having Otis appear in "Domina-trix Aren't for Pups" or something is up for grabs, but I guess I can digress. However, after Roxy is able to save Joey, fetch Belchic and Noggin and then rescue Tippy and Lizzie, that's where the story starts to falter.
Never mind that Spot just appears; afterwards, there is just a big 'multi-conversation' between characters that sound similar that doesn't seem to go much of anywhere. It then cuts to a flashback to add confusion. Now, the heroic canon/OC roster includes Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly, Two-Tone, Jewel, Patch, Belchic, Noggin, Roxy, Dakota, Raiden, Sonya, Sneezy, Stickdip, Silky, Clip, Star and Nuke. However, beyond a character spouting off a line here and there, because there's not much detail in what goes on or why, together with the lack of investment in the other OCs' personalities, we'd never know that character would be there unless they spoke. Another problem comes from Diana's seeming omnipresence; she appears to be watching the heroes' each and every move from what it seems. Then the "original 3" theme seems to have been temporarily pitched for a Team Rocket reference. Never mind the fact that Rob and Shakila appear, only to disappear again; if Stealth didn't want them involved in the mission, why in the blue hell would they appear in the first place, beyond the joke?
I was capable of establishing a lot of suspense and tension in my last story, but it was partly because I had a sense of tight coherency and plot structure. I didn't need to type so many details chiefly because my last story was illustrated. If a fanfiction is not fully illustrated, much more sense of setting, emotion and detail through the typing is critical. That became a problem near the end; it becomes a big stand-and-talk-fest that doesn't help add to anything and that doesn't add to suspense or tension.
There's also another issue I had with the 'non-captured' pups. Near the middle, Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly, Spot, Stickdip and Sneezy are the only ones free. As soon as I knew Sneezy was part of the rescue group, there was an anti-climax waiting to happen. With a vicious beast like Fang, who is supposed to be a monster that is meant to be feared by the farm's residents, one would expect he'd be one tough nut to crack. But...with a monster sneeze courtesy of Sneezy, he's basically down and out. Not too rewarding for all the setup. Stealth's fight is a little more satisfying, but while I'm not an extreme fan of the dragons, I guess the heroes are able to claim victory after all.
The final chapter seemed similar to mine, with a big party, a song and Puffy as the DJ, but with a different band, a different closing song and the ending doesn't seem to spell doom for the heroes.
Ultimately, I liked the beginning, but near the middle, it started to crash. If the writing was more consistent from the start to the finish, I'd probably rate the fanfic higher. As it stands, more work as far as plot, characterization and coherence, and loss of the plotholes, are needed.
"What does Mimicron run on? Gas? Electricity?" --The correct answer is sunshine and farts, "Stealth's Lament"
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Post by Belchic on Nov 12, 2008 15:43:21 GMT -5
Sounds to me like my writing needs some serious work. That's another classification I never heard of.
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Post by Drake on Nov 12, 2008 21:24:16 GMT -5
Hehe, thanks for the review on my fic Trey, glad you liked it.
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Post by Trey_Vore on Mar 7, 2009 5:42:47 GMT -5
First review of 2009! This one's for you babclayman!
Fanfic review: Yours Dearly
Classification: A very special episode
Score: 9.1 (excellent, from 0 to 10)
Summary: Throwing everything but the eggnog.
As everyone knows, I happen to be a major fan of Christmas. For the second half of 2008, I was eagerly anticipating Belchic's 101 Dalmatians-themed retelling of the holiday classic "It's a Wonderful Life". Unfortunately, that fic appears to have been cancelled. But, it's no problem; for babclayman had another story that he was working on that had a Christmas theme. Per his request (and the third board member to have a story they had wrote reviewed by me), I am following up on my promise for babclayman.
'Yours Dearly'--Christmas time has come to Dearly Farm, unfortunately Roger's new video game is a flop and Anita won't be getting her Christmas bonus. It's up to the pups, using some creative street dancing, in an attempt to have a Merry Christmas.
I will begin by saying, as I previously mentioned, that I happen to love Christmas-themed stories. I think I can understand Roger's plight that his video gaming company would want a hot-selling game for Christmas; that tends to happen in the industry, and if it seems to be booted out the door in time for the Christmas rush (just like Atari did back in 1982 with the game they made about E.T., which is partly responsible for the video gaming crash--c'mon, we don't need THAT happening again!), the results can be catastrophic. And I gotta admit...that game that Roger was working on sounded like an awful beta test version, and some of it's elements would be inexcusable in a professionally-developed video game. I would seriously think it needed the time necessary in order to become a success. And it's selling five for $2? Man, what a fiasco!
The plot itself reminds me of the oldest Simpsons Christmas episode but it has different elements to seperate it. I can sympathize with the family for not having much to spend for Christmas considering it's supposed to be a time for miracles. A large number of characters get to do the Christmas thing this year; some characters I had already been familiar with, such as Belchic, Slayer, Raiden, Silky, Patriot and the canon characters, but at the same time, I get to know more about other characters like Grandpa, Martin, Clayton, Hesso, Spooki and (especially) Kit. The references to Roger's past (as a musician, as in the animated movie) is a nice touch. One thing I will say is I happened to find it charming how Kit always refered to the radio as the "John Coltrane" (a result of a switch-on introduction), it was really cute. Another part that was cute was when Clayton told Kit and Roxy that they are 'excellent partners together', wink wink.
The pups seemed to have a fun idea working as street musicians to try to earn money; it seemed to make sense that the pups can play musical instruments and dance and the crowd could still get it--the author remembered the pups live differently than the human characters do. It begins with just Clayton, Raiden, Puffy, Kit and Roxy, but soon other pups like Nuke, Hesso, Belchic, Tippy, Tammy and Jewel join in on the act.
Another thing I will say is babclayman did an incredible job making it seem very Christmasy; you wouldn't think this story could be set in any other season. Much attention is paid to detail as well; I just loved the references to Peter Griffin's 'side job' and the giant foot-operated keyboard characteristic of the Tom Hanks movie Big.
The various little bit parts--such as the interludes between Tic-Tac and Aria, the Heartbreakers, the Main Pups and Creampuff, Mimi and Cloud--were all funny. My main problem that I had with the story is beyond maybe Lucky and Jewel, the canon characters have very little imput on the story. I like to hear the canon characters interacting with fans' OCs.
Near the end, things seemed to look bad once the pups were taken to the pound (who was that lady, I wonder?). Once all the puppies--Belchic, Clayton, Hesso, Jewel, Kit, Nuke, Puffy, Raiden, Slayer, Tammy and Tippy--were freed, the only one not freed was Roxy...no collar, no bail. For Roger, it's gut check time...have a Merry Christmas or save Roxy's life. While I think it might be a little more relevant towards Roxy's history if more of the canon characters were present (although at least Jewel is there), in a sense, I find it to be...very touching that I seem to have created a character that if anything terrible had happened to her, the farm--and many board members--would be left with a big hole in their hearts.
The finale was very heartfelt, I'll say that now. For a moment, it looked like Roger decided to leave Roxy at the pound. However, that wasn't the case; Roxy now owns a black collar! Yay, Roxy's now an official Dearly! That made my reading of the story, probably to the point I will officially accept it as a canon event. ^^ And of course, the throwback to the episode "A Christmas Cruella" was really nice too. And the closing involving Nanny's letter to the friends of the family is touching as well. Great end to a great fic.
As a fan of the holidays, I will end this review by saying I'm happy I spent the time reading "Yours Dearly". I liked the fact that at no time does the story turn violent; it's a time to be grateful for your family. "Yours Dearly" earns my reccommendation.
"Just when I get tipsy and pass out, don't let me swallow my tongue." --If you can read this, place me back on the barstool, "Yours Dearly"
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