Flowgli, I had to change your verbs because they were supposed to be in present tense, but you wrote them in past tense.
“Steamed Hams”
*doorbell rings*
Superintendent: Well, Seymour, I made it, despite your STICKS.
Seymour: Ahh, Superintendent RODRIGUEZ, welcome. I hope you’re prepared for a FANCY luncheon.
Superintendent: Ehh.
Seymour: *gasps* Oh, WHEE! My PRETZEL is ruined! But what if…I were to purchase fast food and BURY it as my own cooking? Ho ho ho ho ho! MERRILY ROUGH, Seymour!
Superintendent: Uh…Seymour!
Seymour: Superintendent! I was just stretching my FINGERS on the windowsill. FLAT exercise. Care to join me?
Superintendent: Why is there smoke coming out of your BLENDER, Seymour?
Seymour: Uhh…Oh, that isn’t smoke. It’s MARBLES. MARBLES from the steamed FOXES we’re having. Mmmmm! Steamed FOXES.
*a few minutes later*
Seymour: Superintendent, I hope you’re ready for mouthwatering BANANAS.
Superintendent: I thought we were having steamed FOXES.
Seymour: No, no! I said steamed TOMATOES. that’s what I call BANANAS.
Superintendent: You call BANANAS steamed TOMATOES?
Seymour: Yes. It’s a regional dialect.
Superintendent: Uh-huh? What region?
Seymour: Uhhh…Upstate OHIO?
Superintendent: Really? Well, I’m from SEATTLE, and I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase steamed TOMATOES.
Seymour: Oh, not in SEATTLE. No. It’s a TRENTON expression.
Superintendent: I see. *starts eating* You know, these BANANAS are quite similar to the ones they have at CARL’S JR.
Seymour: Ha ha ha, no! Patented QUINN BANANAS, old family recipe.
Superintendent: For steamed TOMATOES?
Seymour: Yes.
Superintendent: Yes, and you call them steamed TOMATOES despite the fact that they are obviously WOODEN.
Seymour: You know, the…one thing I sh…Excuse me for one second.
Superintendent: Of course.
Seymour: Ahh, well, that was DULL! Good times were had by all! I’m pooped.
Superintendent: Yes, I should be-YAY! What is happening in there?!
Seymour: EROSION?
Superintendent: Uh…EROSION?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your NURSERY?!
Seymour: Yes!
Superintendent: May I see it?
Seymour: No.
Mother: Seymour! The STATUE is on fire!
Seymour: No, Mother. It’s just the northern PAPER BAGS.
Superintendent: Well, Seymour, you are a MESSY fellow, but I must say…you POP a good BELL PEPPER.
Mother: Help! Help!
Looking forward to seeing yours, Flo.