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As much as we hate to lose anyone...

We can't deny she lived a long, full life.

I didn't think that was going to be very good. The concept of luck is just a little too broad for a movie.

And it doesn't look like we will be seeing a new animated film for a few months now. We will have Strange World for Thanksgiving and Puss in Boots: the Last Wish for the Christmas season. Not seeing anything else.

First of all... you failed to pick up the Mortal Kombat reference.

Second, when was Elmyra a popular character? She was a "Creator's Pet" character in the past but there were so many fans that hated her and felt she was overused. Furthering this issue is the fact in 1998 she technically destroyed Pinky and the Brain.

Third, the killing off of Pepe Le Pew was really just a big publicity stunt. They cut his sequence in Space Jam: A New Legacy to try to get some people interested but clearly that didn't work as while the movie was essentially critic-proof, it was a dud financially. The movie is not even on anybody's mind right now.

Fourth, Pete Browngardt (creator of Uncle Grandpa and director of several new Looney Tunes cartoons) did say they didn't plan on eliminating him from the Looney Tunes.

Besides, you do see some production pieces where she does appear. Where exactly did they go right out and explicitly state that Fifi is not returning to give you that idea?

Are you allowed to be negative, yes. Is it helping you, no.

After I did my review for The Powerpuff Girls Movie, I decided I couldn't fully appreciate it until I took a look at another movie made with girls in mind. So here we go with:

Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer (1985)

Distributor: Warner Bros./DIC Enterprises
Director: Kimio Yabuki, Bernard Deyries
Cast: Bettina Bush (Rainbow Brite), Patrick Fraley (Lurky, On-X, Buddy Blue, Guard, Dog, Spectran, sl*thrie, Glitterbot), Peter Cullen (Murky Dismal, Castle Monster, Glitterbot, Guard, Skydancer, sl*thrie), Robbie Lee (Twink, Shy Violet, Indigo, La La Orange, Spectran, Sprites), Andre Stojka (Starlite, Wizard, Spectran), David Mendenhall (Krys), Rhonda Aldrich (Dark Princess, the Creature), Les Tremayne (Orin, Bombo, TV Announcer), Mona Marshall (Red Butler, Witch, Spectran, Castle Creature, Patty O’Green, Canary Yellow), Johnathan Harris (Count Blogg), Marissa Mendenhall (Stormy), Scott Menville (Brian), Charles Adler (Popo)
Runtime: 85 min.
MPAA rating: G (all ages admitted)

This movie is about a magical girl named Rainbow Brite, who lives in Rainbow Land with her friends, all named after respective colors called the Color Kids. When spring arrives on Earth, she, her magical horse Starlite and sprite Twink go to start the season. Running into her human friend Brian in the process, they discover her powers are weakening and winter is staying put. Returning to Rainbow Land, she is paid a visit by On-X, a robotic horse who informs her that Orin, the leader of the diamond planet Spectra, is missing. They then learn that Spectra is dimming as a result of a massive net being weaved; it is intended to be stolen by the selfish Dark Princess so she can take it back to her home world. With the help of a Spectran boy named Krys, can they foil the Dark Princess’s plot and bring spring to Earth, thereby saving everyone who lives there?

This movie is based on the character of Rainbow Brite, a character who, like the Care Bears and Popples, started life as a series of greeting cards. She was a very popular character in her own right, having gotten some specials in 1984 and 1985; she even had a line of toys from Mattel and a breakfast cereal. I even remember my sister once had a VHS tape of the Mighty Monstromurk Menace two-part episode. Unbeknownst to me, her series did not run very long; it was a package deal series from DIC on Kideo TV, running in total for only 13 episodes before it was replaced by Lady Lovely Locks and the Pixietails. This movie came between the 5 specials from before and the 8 episodes that would otherwise fulfill a 13-episode order.

There was a time when I was with my dad at a pizza restaurant and we once were talking. I did once say I was reading about the concept of child rearing and made a point about how it can be a daunting task. If you have a son, you would have to ask yourself questions like “What kinds of grades is he getting?”, “Is he going to school?”, “What kinds of school clubs might he be involved in?”, “Are his friends a good influence?”, “Am I sending good messages?”, “Does he know it’s important to obey the law?”

My dad’s response was “You have to worry about that with girls.”

I did agree with him; however, I did make the point that if you have a son, you can only complain so much. For one, you get to care about things that feel substantial. You can care about things like sports, travel, doctors, police, military, dinosaurs, pro wrestling, action movies, cool cars, superheroes… you get the fun things in life. If you have a daughter, you’ll be caring about things that seem a bit trivial and not practical for a career; you’ll be caring about makeup, tea parties, playing dress-up, Disney Princesses, Barbie, Cabbage Patch Kids, My Little Pony… it may be instrumental for raising a child but it just doesn’t feel useful in helping land a stable job.

That said, it’s really great being a guy; your pop culture icons tend to hold up and mean something no matter how much time passes and have a strong effect on your psyche. Pretty much all my favorites from the 1980s hold a special place in my heart and continue to mean something to me.

On the other hand, there is a little thing often referred to as the “Girl Show Ghetto”. Because most writers are men, it tends to be of much stronger quality to indulge in manly activities and write in a truly effective manner, whereas there is an attitude that girl-targeted shows tend to be seen as inferior because most of the time they are about building relationships and wallowing in emotions rather than do something constructive.

Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer does nothing to buck that trend.

Maybe I should start with the story. Do you know how often male-targeted shows involve action and accomplishment? Well, what do you do for a girl-minded show? Well, what is my little girl doing right now? She seems to care about coloring and riding horses. She also seems to care about cute and glitzy. And you’re also making a movie about a line of greeting cards. That already doesn’t bode well for a movie people will be paying money to see.

The movie does have some semblance of a plot in that it’s about the hero trying to save the Earth from certain doom, it’s just a lot more… girly and childish. Not to mention it’s very stereotypical; little girls are supposed to love coloring while Rainbow Brite’s human friend Brian cares about baseball. They probably knew their target audience but they don’t get what may prove to be effective in terms of writing; many times characters seem to use the phrase “just doing my job” as a way to avoid responsibility. If you want further evidence of knowing the target audience, there’s times where you have some evil monsters that sound like parents!

(Rainbow Brite and Krys are trapped on a plateau and surrounded by an alien armada)
“Are you ready to come down?”
“I’ll never hand my belt over to you!”
“You’ll stay up there ‘til you do!”

So yeah. The story isn’t all great. It’s very flat and not written all that well. Maybe once I start describing the characters, you’ll know more.

The animation? Well, being this is a girl-minded 80s cartoon, there’s rainbows and pretty colors everywhere. However, they rarely try any sort of shading and everything looks completely flat. The designs of many characters like Rainbow Brite and the Color Kids seem weird as well; for one their faces only seem to take up the lower quarter of their heads, almost like they are meant to be aliens. Nothing about the animation feels very inspired; at times it feels like nothing ever feels truly alive. One could argue that it’s appropriate as it is technically a cog in the Rainbow Brite machine, but you could have made this as 3 more episodes of the show and it wouldn’t have made any real difference!

Now, the characters. Boy, do we have a lot of them there. The main hero of the story, Rainbow Brite, is like what you would have if you made a superhero for very little girls. She’s supposed to care about coloring and bringing happiness to Earth, but that is just stereotyping. Starlite is her talking horse that… well, he’s not a metaphor for anything, he just gives Rainbow Brite someone else to talk to as he was her horse on the earlier episodes, at least until Krys enters the picture. Krys is a same-age little boy who at first doesn’t like the idea of being paired up with a “dumb girl” but then comes around by the end, like they are making some half-assed attempt to tell boys and girls they should try to work together rather than against each other. For everyone else… well I’ll try to make it short. Twink is her “Sprite” that is like her personal assistant, the Color Kids are basically her staff, On-X is… nothing more than a messenger that is also Krys’s horse, Stormy is… a little girl’s answer about thunder and lightning? Brian seems like he’s only in the movie to remind us that there is at least some connection to the world in which we inhabit and he was a character that existed before… yeah, I’m aware this movie was built around a line of greeting cards but that doesn’t give a lot of lore to go on. The movie’s villain, or one of the villains, just called the “Dark Princess”, is nothing more than a brat that just wants presents. She has no redeeming qualities and is just avaricious and completely self-centered. Not exactly an appealing villain.

Would that mean there’s another villain? Well yes, in that the main antagonists from the series, Murky Dismal and Lurky are supposed to be the opposite in that while Rainbow Brite wants to color and spread joy, Murky Dismal wants to spread gloom and despair. His henchman Lurky, who looks like a large brown-colored Sprite, is a Minion with an F in Evil. What else I can say is they are just intolerable in this! They only feel like they were included for the sake of seeing them in the movie as we would have expected to see them in addition to adding some unnecessary comedy relief. They are stupid, not interesting, not funny, add nothing and just waste time; these two are impossible to take seriously as villains. They are just insufferable!

See a problem here? The movie is only about 85 minutes long, but it feels like a massive slog because there are too many characters that just feel pointless or unnecessary. Was this movie made to promote a product line yes, but it feels so unorganized and lacking in warmth that it’s impossible to be invested in anything!

Do you wonder why cartoons intended for girls tend to get such a bad rap? Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer is a concrete example of why. The Rainbow Brite enterprise feels like it was only done to fill a void in TV programming and merchandise; the boys just get so much that the girls need something! When they do, it would seem to have very little going for it; I won’t pretend to be an expert on the opposite sex but if you’re going to make a show intended for girls you’ll need more than glitter, ponies and rainbows just like how if you’re going to make a show for boys you’ll need more than boogers, farts and barfing!

Even as much as I love the 1980s and am happy to see these old favorites return, Rainbow Brite is just better left in the past. Not like Jem and the Holograms in that it just won’t translate to something workable right now, but like Garbage Pail Kids in that it’s just something you are better off without! Probably the only good aspect of Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer is the fact I didn’t have to pay for it; I just watched it for free on YouTube. Yep, YouTube. Not even any streaming service was carrying it! This movie is a disaster and just should be avoided. The little girls Rainbow Brite is meant to appeal to deserve better anyway!



Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer (1985)
TreyVore rates it: F

Well that's a shocker. RIP Sandy.

I wonder how John Travolta is taking it?

I remember seeing that plenty of times. After all, I did at one point work in the Magic Kingdom.

Good to see some proper synergy.

I did hear about that one. At least now she can see Samuel E. Wright again.

RIP to the recently departed.