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Post by Belchic on Dec 3, 2008 2:06:28 GMT -5
Chapter 1 - The Case of the Missing Puppies
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It was a beautiful morning in September. The sun was just rising. Overnight, Belchic had been wanting to have some fun with his best buddies, namely: Lucky, Rolly and Cadpig. He kept getting more excited thinking about it in his sleep. He sensed the sun rising, but he let his eyes decide when he should get up. Eventually, he awoke.
Belchic looked around the barn. They were nowhere to be found. He went over to the tree the pups usually hang out in. They weren't there, either. He then checked Hiccup Hole, and they weren't there. He checked every possible place around the farm and couldn't find the three pups. "This is very strange," he thought. "How could they be missing so suddenly?"
Just then, Noggin arrived. Belchic asked him, "Hey Noggin, you don't happen to know where Lucky, Cadpig and Rolly are, do you?" "What am I? They're keeper?" Noggin said in a rather crabby tone. "Well, I thought maybe you'd at least know where Cadpig is," said Belchic. "No," said Noggin. "Can't say I've seen them."
Suddenly, they heard a familiar voice screaming, "Help!" Noggin and Belchic looked up, and they saw Joey. He was stuck in the tree.
"Noggin, you gotta get Joey down before the branch breaks," said Belchic. "Why me?" asked Noggin. "You're the one with the jet pack," said Belchic. "Curse my good ways," Noggin said to himself. He then said to Belchic, "Okay, I'll do it." So, he called for Afterburners, who showed up as quick as a flash. He then blasted up to save Joey. Unfortunately for him, the branch snapped as he was flying up causing Joey to fall, and BAM! Noggin was hit on the head, and they both crash landed. When Joey got off of Noggin, he and Belchic both gasped when they noticed Noggin's head was missing. Noggin's head then popped out of his collar, swolen with a big scar. "You alright, Noggin?" Belchic asked. "What do you think?" snapped Noggin. "My head is swollen, and I have a scar, so lay off!"
"Thanks for saving me," said Joey. Noggin didn't say a word. "How did you get up there, Joey?" Belchic asked. Joey answered in kind of an embarrassed voice, "It was Jerko." "Say no more, Joe," Noggin said, "we'll take care of him later. Say, when was the last time you saw Lucky, Rolly or Cadpig, Joey?" Joey thought for a minute and then said, "I don't recall seeing them since yesterday." "You guys are lucky your girlfriends are still here," said Noggin. What Noggin said just gave Belchic an idea. "Maybe Tippy will know," he said. So they went to talk to Tippy.
Tippy was hanging out in the little hangout that she and Belchic usually hung out at. She was minding her own business until the boys showed up. It was nice to see them, so she greeted them. "Hi, guys!" she said. "What's up?" "We've got a bit of an emergency," said Joey. "Tip, neither of us have seen Lucky, Rolly and Cadpig all day," said Belchic. "We were wondering if you've seen them." "They're missing?" Tippy wondered. "I propose we start a search party," said Noggin. "I say we all start looking in the barn." "Wait," said Joey. "I don't like going on missions alone." "You won't be alone, Joey," said Belchic. "Yeah," Tippy added, "we're your friends. We'll be doing it with you." "I know," said Joey, "but I'm not comfortable doing stuff like this unless Lizzie is with me." "Fine," Noggin said in disgust. "Go find Lizzie, and then meet us in the barn."
So, Noggin, Belchic and Tippy went through the barn to see if they could find any evidence of their friends. It wasn't long until Joey and Lizzie came in on the fun. Just then, Belchic found something nearby the TV. It was a book. A rather large one too. It was opened to a certain page. "Hey, guys, check out what I found!" he called over his buddies. They all gathered around him as he looked at the book. "Now, where do you suppose this book came from?" Tippy puzzled. "Well, it can't possibly be Lucky's, and it's definately not Rolly's," said Lizzie. "Cadpig's the only one of those pups who actually would read something like this," said Noggin agreeing with Lizzie. "She has bought some unusual stuff, like those George Harrison albums."
Belchic read through the book: "The Mystery Dish is a legendary item to dogs throughout the ages. Legend has it that only dogs who the dish finds worthy of it's power will be granted a special wish of their most sacred desires. The legend states that the dish is found deep within the Canine Cave, a cave so dark, deep and dangerous that no dog has ever made it to the Dish and come back alive to tell the tale." After a long pause, Noggin came in with, "So, what does this have to do with anything?" "Don't you see?" snapped Belchic. "It's quite obvious that Lucky has read this and has gone out to find this so-called "Mystery Dish"! He must have taken Rolly and Cadpig with them!" "Doesn't Spot usually go with them too?" asked Noggin. "Yeah," said Belchic, "but there is a chance she chickened out." Noggin punched Belchic in the face. "There," he said, "now you've been punished." Then, Tippy pounded Noggin on the head. "That's what you get for not being nice," she said in reply.
"Well, what are we going to do about this?" asked Lizzie. "It's dangerous out there," said Joey. "I don't want them to get killed." "Then, I know what this means," Belchic stated. "We need to go out there and save them!" "Are you out of your mind?" Noggin said in shock. "You want us to risk our lives to go out and track down three of our sibblings just because of some stupid legend that you read in a dumb book?" "And like I said," added Joey, "we might get ourselves killed out there." "It's scary out there," added Lizzie. "Who knows what kind of dangers we might come across?" "I hate to turn my friends down, but I'm sure they'll make it back okay," said Tippy. "I say we stay home." "Well..." Belchic started, "Suit yourself, guys. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to go find them, even if I have to do it alone!"
With that said, Belchic started to head outside. The others just watched him go away. Thinking quickly, Tippy decided to go up and join him. "Hey, Belchic!" she said. "Mind if I tag along?" "Tippy," Belchic said in surprise, "you mean it?" "Of course," Tippy answered. "Anywhere you go, I go, Belchy. I would never let you down for anything." Just then, Joey joined them. "Say, you know?" he said. "I've never gone on a big adventure like this. I think it'll be quite fun." Then, Lizzie joined. "Joey, if you're going, you'll need a bodyguard," she said. "Oh, you guys are the greatest," Belchic said with a smile. Everybody then turned around, and Noggin was still standing back reluctant to go with them. The others pondered. "You know," said Belchic, "I think we can use someone with a lot of brain power. Someone like...hmm...I wonder who we can bug to tag along with us?" Noggin still stood back, but eventually, he came up to them slowly. At last, he said, "Okay, I'll go with you." "Valveta Vest!" said Belchic. "We have a quest!" "Alright, let's go!" shouted Lizzie. "Wait a minute," Tippy interupted. "How do we even know where we'll be going? We have no idea where this Canine Cave is." "That's what quests are all about, Tippy," said Belchic. "We just gotta follow our instincts. Now, come on. Let's all make like the Five Musketeers! One for all..." Everyone else then said, "...and all for one!" And so began their long adventurous quest.
============================================== End of Chapter 1.
I hope that was a good start. Feel free to tell me what you think or PM me about anything.
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Post by Tic-Tac on Dec 3, 2008 9:39:31 GMT -5
I think the concept is decent, but having your characters so blatantly addicted to the three main character's is downright sickening. Having ninety nine step brothers and sisters about the barn, and they notice three aren't hanging around like usual, and decide it's an emergency that needs a search party? Also, Tab. Indent. Paragraphs. New speaker=Enter key. Because Stuff like this:
"Well, what are we going to do about this?" asked Lizzie. "It's dangerous out there," said Joey. "I don't want them to get killed." "Then, I know what this means," Belchic stated. "We need to go out there and save them!" "Are you out of your mind?" Noggin said in shock. "You want us to risk our lives to go out and track down three of our sibblings just because of some stupid legend that you read in a dumb book?" "And like I said," added Joey, "we might get ourselves killed out there." "It's scary out there," added Lizzie. "Who knows what kind of dangers we might come across?" "I hate to turn my friends down, but I'm sure they'll make it back okay," said Tippy. "I say we stay home." "Well..." Belchic started, "Suit yourself, guys. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to go find them, even if I have to do it alone!"
Makes it impossible to tell who the bloody **** is speaking. Im-fu<king-possible.
Anyway, tab, indent and that stuff, Doesn't work so well on here, but I'm throwing you free advice for stories, so suck it up. And do make use of that enter key, I implore you. Still, mystery dish is an original concept, Just a few things I feel the need to toss out here
After a long pause, Noggin came in with, "So, what does this have to do with anything?" "Don't you see?" snapped Belchic. "It's quite obvious that Lucky has read this and has gone out to find this so-called "Mystery Dish"!
1: How is that obvious to Belchic that Lucky has decided to go after the mystery dish? How it is obvious it belongs to Cadpig? There are tons of puppies that hang out around the barn and more so that hang out around the t.v. So make a note to offer some logical reason as to WHY this object belongs to Cadpig. Also, try describing what Belchic, Tippy, all your other character's look like. Don't point us towards a page, write it in the bloody, story.
2. "The Mystery Dish is a legendary item to dogs throughout the ages. Legend has it that only dogs who the dish finds worthy of it's power will be granted a special wish of their most sacred desires. The legend states that the dish is found deep within the Canine Cave, a cave so dark, deep and dangerous that no dog has ever made it to the Dish and come back alive to tell the tale." Right, so, quick question here. How is it that people know about the mystery dish, and that it's in the canine cave, if no one's ever come back alive from the canine cave to tell people about the mystery dish being in the canine cave?
Also, please stop forgetting that the entire point, of 101 dalmatians, is that there are 101 dalmatians. The three puppies, Cadpig, Rolly, and Lucky, while the focus of the cartoon, are not the focus of their family. Jewel, Freckles, Tripod, Dipstick, Fidgit, Wizzer...They've a lot of pups there. I know you've got a hard on, to have your characters like, marry Lucky or something, I mean, having Noggin, who's a d**k, with Cadpig, who's a sweetheart, doesn't even make sense, but, whatever, my point is, there are tons of characters, each with their own personalities and what not to choose from and you're limiting yourself to just three.
So, all in all, crappy start, crappy characterization, impressive concept that needs work. You have a itty, bitty, teeny, weeeeeny spark of potential here. ... ... ... ... enough that I'd like to see Chapter two, to see where it goes.
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Post by Belchic on Dec 3, 2008 14:25:34 GMT -5
I think the concept is decent, but having your characters so blatantly addicted to the three main character's is downright sickening. Having ninety nine step brothers and sisters about the barn, and they notice three aren't hanging around like usual, and decide it's an emergency that needs a search party? Also, Tab. Indent. Paragraphs. New speaker=Enter key. Because Stuff like this: "Well, what are we going to do about this?" asked Lizzie. "It's dangerous out there," said Joey. "I don't want them to get killed." "Then, I know what this means," Belchic stated. "We need to go out there and save them!" "Are you out of your mind?" Noggin said in shock. "You want us to risk our lives to go out and track down three of our sibblings just because of some stupid legend that you read in a dumb book?" "And like I said," added Joey, "we might get ourselves killed out there." "It's scary out there," added Lizzie. "Who knows what kind of dangers we might come across?" "I hate to turn my friends down, but I'm sure they'll make it back okay," said Tippy. "I say we stay home." "Well..." Belchic started, "Suit yourself, guys. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to go find them, even if I have to do it alone!" Makes it impossible to tell who the bloody f**k is speaking. Im-fu<king-possible. Anyway, tab, indent and that stuff, Doesn't work so well on here, but I'm throwing you free advice for stories, so suck it up. And do make use of that enter key, I implore you. Still, mystery dish is an original concept, Just a few things I feel the need to toss out here After a long pause, Noggin came in with, "So, what does this have to do with anything?" "Don't you see?" snapped Belchic. "It's quite obvious that Lucky has read this and has gone out to find this so-called "Mystery Dish"! 1: How is that obvious to Belchic that Lucky has decided to go after the mystery dish? How it is obvious it belongs to Cadpig? There are tons of puppies that hang out around the barn and more so that hang out around the t.v. So make a note to offer some logical reason as to WHY this object belongs to Cadpig. Also, try describing what Belchic, Tippy, all your other character's look like. Don't point us towards a page, write it in the bloody, story. 2. "The Mystery Dish is a legendary item to dogs throughout the ages. Legend has it that only dogs who the dish finds worthy of it's power will be granted a special wish of their most sacred desires. The legend states that the dish is found deep within the Canine Cave, a cave so dark, deep and dangerous that no dog has ever made it to the Dish and come back alive to tell the tale." Right, so, quick question here. How is it that people know about the mystery dish, and that it's in the canine cave, if no one's ever come back alive from the canine cave to tell people about the mystery dish being in the canine cave? Also, please stop forgetting that the entire point, of 101 dalmatians, is that there are 101 dalmatians. The three puppies, Cadpig, Rolly, and Lucky, while the focus of the cartoon, are not the focus of their family. Jewel, Freckles, Tripod, Dipstick, Fidgit, Wizzer...They've a lot of pups there. I know you've got a hard on, to have your characters like, marry Lucky or something, I mean, having Noggin, who's a thingy, with Cadpig, who's a sweetheart, doesn't even make sense, but, whatever, my point is, there are tons of characters, each with their own personalities and what not to choose from and you're limiting yourself to just three. So, all in all, crappy start, crappy characterization, impressive concept that needs work. You have a itty, bitty, teeny, weeeeeny spark of potential here. ... ... ... ... enough that I'd like to see Chapter two, to see where it goes. ... *is reluctant to continue* You know what? I'd like to hear other people's opinions before I write Chapter 2. It would be nice if I had a combination of compliments and criticisms so I'd know where to go with this.
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Post by Belchic on Dec 12, 2008 2:19:51 GMT -5
Chapter 2 - The Start of the Quest
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The five pups had just begun their quest to find the Mystery Dish and save their friends. It was the beginning of a long journey. They could be heading towards victory, danger, disaster, or who knows what else.
While on the quest, Belchic had a map, which Noggin managed to make a copy of that was in the book. Noggin, himself had his own device, which could follow the footsteps of the three lost pups.
"According to my footprint-tracking device," Noggin said, "we should be on the right track so far." "That's what I'm getting out of this map," said Belchic. "You know, Belchic, I have my own little invention here," said Noggin. "What's the point of having a map?" "It's for adventurous purposes," Belchic said with a grin. Tippy just laughed with him.
The group continued to walk. Belchic was starting to grow tired. He then noticed Joey riding on Lizzie's back. "Say, Lizzie?" he asked. "How come he gets a ride from you? I thought you didn't do piggyback rides." "I only do if someone asks me really nicely," Lizzie answered. "I suppose that's what Joey did?" Belchic wondered. "He didn't need to ask," said Lizzie, "because he's special."
The pups then came to a stream, which went around what appeared to be a forest. Luck wouldn't you know it, there was also something right by the stream that looked like a raft. "Noggin, are you sure this is where they went?" Belchic asked. "Well, that's what my device says," said Noggin. "Where should we go, now?" asked Tippy. "Should we go through the forest or take the stream around it." "Well," Belchic said looking at the map, "the map doesn't say anything too specific about what's in or beyond these woods." "I say we take the stream," said Lizzie. "I don't like the looks of those scary woods."
So, they pushed the raft onto the stream and got onto it. The flow of the water moved them along. After riding for about twenty minutes, they heard what sounded like loud rushing water. Looking ahead, they could tell that they were approaching a waterfall. Normally, everyone would panic at a situation like this, but not this time. Noggin just said, "I think this is where we get off." So, everyone leaned so that the raft could move close to the shore and at just the right time jumped.
"Okay, guys," said Belchic. "Let's continue. We're going this way." "Wait a minute," Noggin interupted. "Why do we have to listen to you?" "Because I'm the leader of this quest," said Belchic. "Remind me again why you wanted me to tag along," said Noggin. "Um...because we needed an intellectual?" Belchic replied. "Okay, so wouldn't it make more sense if I was the leader?" Noggin asked. "You gotta remember," Belchic answered, "this was my idea in the first place, and I have the official map." "Official my grandma!" shouted Noggin. "I'm only doing this for Cadpig, not for you!" "Guys, will you stop this fighting and grow up?" Tippy said butting in. "We've got an important mission to focus on." Noggin took a deep breath. "Alright, let's continue," he said. "But I'm warning you, Belchic, the next time you decide to go on a crazy "quest" again, I will be the leader!"
Belchic didn't say a word. Even though Noggin lived up to his name most of the time, Belchic knew that Noggin had a lot less common sense than he thought. "Well?" Noggin suddenly snapped. "Are we going, or what?" "Man, Noggin, you're worse than Jerko!" said Joey. Noggin held up his fists. "Joey, don't make me use these!" he threatened
Discontinuing their little fight, the quintet continued on their journey. Little did they know, however, a new challenging was waiting for them in the distance.
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To be continued...
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Post by Drake on Dec 12, 2008 4:02:01 GMT -5
And yet, you didn't take Tac's advice up on the use of paragraphs properly. That in turn, makes it so much harder to read, even though I haven't even read this, however, just by skimming through it, not seperating each sentence that one character speaks with a line, as in, giving it its own line, makes it that much more difficult to read.
I mean, if you've read a book, you'll know about the rough layout of how one thing is written, maining the speaking sections, that's one thing you need to correct.
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Post by babclayman on Dec 15, 2008 14:15:31 GMT -5
Im sorry to say this Belchic, but i'm affraid that Drake is right I am not trying to be mean nor am i saying that the story sucks, the story does have potential, but like what Tac and Drake said, it would be a good idea to start a new line with each new person speaking. Here is one paragraph of your story with a few people speaking, however i have made it so a new line starts when a new person speaks. The pups then came to a stream, which went around what appeared to be a forest. Luck wouldn't you know it, there was also something right by the stream that looked like a raft. "Noggin, are you sure this is where they went?" Belchic asked. "Well, that's what my device says," said Noggin. "Where should we go, now?" asked Tippy. "Should we go through the forest or take the stream around it." "Well," Belchic said looking at the map, "the map doesn't say anything too specific about what's in or beyond these woods." "I say we take the stream," said Lizzie. "I don't like the looks of those scary woods."As you can see. The story is now easier to read in this style of writing as we can tell someone else is talking. I hope this advice helps you Good luck in continuing the story.
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Post by Belchic on Dec 15, 2008 15:47:10 GMT -5
I'll see what I can do on my next chapter. But you know, it's really getting on my nerves how on all my fanfics everyone has to focus more on the style of my writing rather than the story itself. Why, why, why do I ALWAYS have to be treated like the black sheep of this board?
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Post by Tic-Tac on Dec 15, 2008 16:54:06 GMT -5
I'll see what I can do on my next chapter. But you know, it's really getting on my nerves how on all my fanfics everyone has to focus more on the style of my writing rather than the story itself. Why, why, why do I ALWAYS have to be treated like the black sheep of this board? DURRR We can't READ the story itself, cause it's all bloody messed up so much that it's not worth the effort to try and decipher what ever the hell your trying to say. Ok, there are puppies, and there's a cave or something, and yeah. I have no idea who's speaking, and no idea what's going on, since it's all jumbled together in a giant page of text. If you're not going to learn how to write in a way that people can READ what you want to say, then how are you going to **** about people not reading your story?
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Post by Belchic on Dec 20, 2008 14:00:30 GMT -5
Okay, update, everyone! I just modified the previous two chapters so they'd be easier to read. I should have Chapter 3 up either tomorrow night or Monday sometime.
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Post by Belchic on Dec 23, 2008 2:20:33 GMT -5
Chapter 3 - Riddle Me That
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So the five pups continued on their journey. They then came to a bridge which was chained so that they couldn't pass. Standing next to the bridge was a strange Dalmatian pup. He was holding a staff, wore a purple bandana, a green derby, and his spot pattern consisted of question marks.
"Greetings, fellow puppies," said the Dalmatian. "My name is Riddley, the Master Pup of Riddles. I know what it is you seek, and in order to get there, you must pass this bridge. However, I cannot let you pass unless you can solve four riddles. I must warn you, no one has ever solved these riddles, so I wish you the best of luck." "I love riddles," said Belchic. "I guess I should be greatful for tagging along," said Noggin. "It looks like you guys might need my superior intelect for this." "Okay, Riddley," said Tippy, "we accept your challenge. Tell us the first riddle." "Very well, then," replied Riddley. "Here we go..."
"If you had a regular alarm clock, went to bed at 8:00 P.M., and set the clock to wake you up at 9:00 in the morning, how many hours of sleep will you get?"
With the riddle given to them, the team talked amongst themselves to discuss the answer. "So we're going to bed at 8 at night, and setting an alarm to wake us at 9 in the morning," said Belchic. "How many hours?" "Oh, that's easy," said Joey. "Thirteen!" "That's too much sleep, if you ask me," said Lizzie. "Now, wait a minute, Joey," said Noggin. "That's not necessarily true. He said we have a regular alarm clock. He could have been referring to one of those old-fashioned clocks that you have to wind up. Now, I've never owned one of those, but I would assume that they don't have an AM/PM setting. So if you set an alarm for 9 at 8, it would go off in less than 12 hours." "Then we have our answer," said Belchic. He then turned to Riddley. "We have our answer," he said. "If at 8:00, you set a regular alarm clock to wake you up at 9:00, you would only get 1 hour of sleep." "Well done, pups," said Riddley. "Now, your next riddle will be a little bit harder."
"Three men fall in a lake. Only two of them get their hair wet. How is this possible?"
The pups huddled again. "Three men have fallen into a lake," said Lizzie, "but how is it possible that only two of them got their hair wet?" "Well," said Joey, "there is a possibility that the third guy's head didn't fully go underwater." "That could work, but it still isn't logically possible," said Noggin. "The splash effect from the water could still get him on the head, and he can't really escape it." "Noggin's right," said Tippy. "It's impossible to fall into a lake without getting your hair wet." "Unless," Noggin added, "maybe the third guy didn't have any hair." "That's it!" said Belchic. "Let's go for it!" He turned back to Riddley. "Three men fall in a lake, only two of them get their hair wet, because the third guy is bald!" "That is correct," said Riddley, "but now here is Riddle #3, and this one is harder still..."
"A cowboy decides to visit a city outside of his town. He arrives at the town on Thursday, stays for three days, and then comes home on Thursday. How is this possible?"
With that, the pups huddled. "Okay, so how is this possible?" asked Belchic. "Well, if he goes to the town on Thursday and comes home on Thursday, that means he stayed a whole week," said Joey. "No, Joey," said Noggin. "He stays for three days." "Impossible," said Lizzie. "He can't possibly arrive and leave on the same day if he stayed for only three days." "Maybe it's not a day we're talking about here," said Belchic with a grin. "What do you mean?" asked Tippy. "If you remember, the guy who is in the city is a cowboy, right?" Belchic replied. "That means that when he traveled to and from the city, he was riding a horse. Maybe his horse's name was Thursday!" "Wow," said Tippy. "I never thought of that." "I should have known Belchic would be able to figure this out," said Noggin. "Riddley," Belchic said, "This cowboy was riding a horse named Thursday." "Very clever of you pups," said Riddley. "Now, prepare yourselves for the hardest riddle of this batch..."
"A man lives in an appartment at the top level. When he leaves for work, he takes the elevator down to the bottom level, but when he comes home, he only takes the elevator up half-way and takes the stairs the rest of the way. However, on rainy days, he takes the elevator up all the way. Why does he do this?"
The pups all took a deep breath and huddled one more time. "Okay," said Tippy, "this is going to be pretty tricky." "I'm not going to try to guess at this one," said Joey. "I'll guess for you, then," said Lizzie. "I would say that he does it for exercise, but on rainy days he doesn't want to risk slipping or getting injury and it already tired." "That's stupid," said Noggin. "There must be some more logical reason why he does this." "Tippy, we could use your help," said Belchic. "What can I do?" asked Tippy. "Well, I do love you for many reasons. Your intellegence, your kindness, your strength, your height..." "Wait a minute!" Joey said interupting Belchic. "Maybe he takes the elevator up half-way because he's too short to reach the button to take him to the top floor!" "Hey, that's brilliant, Joey!" said Belchic. "But what about the rainy day thing? Does his legs grow in the rain or something?" "No," said Noggin. "He can use his umbrella to reach the button!" "Oh, that makes a lot of sense!" said Tippy. So they all turned back to Riddley. "The guy does all this because he's a midget!" answered Belchic. "Blast!" groaned Riddley. "Nobody's ever passed my test! Very well, then. Because of this I will let you pass this bridge. You pups think you're so clever!" He unchained the pathway.
The pups started to head towards the bridge, but then Noggin stepped up to Riddley. "Now, I have a riddle for you," he said with a grin. "Oh, do you, now?" said Riddley. "Try me!" "With pleasure," Noggin said. He then told his riddle: "What can go up the chimeny down, but can't go down the chimeny up?" Stumped, Riddley just guessed, "I don't know...Santa Claus?" "Wrong!" Noggin replied, and the pups all laughed and went on their merry way. Curious of the answer, Joey asked after they passed the bridge, "So what was it you were talking about?" "An umbrella, of course!" said Noggin. "Oh, I get it!" said Joey.
Now, it is off to the next part of their journey. What lies ahead of them next? Find out next time.
============================================== To be continued...
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Post by Tic-Tac on Dec 23, 2008 16:11:13 GMT -5
Tac followed along quietly, with Crosswise, Aria, and Dipstick in tow. "And, why, boss, are we following these idiots again?" Crosswise asked with a sigh. Tac rolled his eyes, twisting around sharply on his heel to come face to face with his friend. "Because we're TRYING to find out where Lucky and his idiot cohorts ran off too. I can't kill him, if he's not HERE." Tac explained. "Ooooooooooh." Crosswise said, while Dipstick did his best impression of a pointer, aiming his snout towards a strange bridge with an odd puppy standing on the end of it.
"Greetings, fellow puppies," said the Dalmatian. "My name is Riddley, the Master Pup of Riddles. I know what it is you seek, and in order to get there, you must pass this bridge. However, I cannot let you pass unless you can solve four riddles. I must warn you, no one has ever solved these riddles, so I wish you the best of luck." Said Riddley. The quartet looked at each other a moment, before Riddley cleared his throat. "Riddle the first, If you had a regular alarm clock, went to bed at 8:00 P.M., and set the clock to wa-" "One hour." Said Tac , glaring at the other puppy. Riddely coughed and sputtered, unsure how to proceed, as no one had ever solved his stupid puzzle so quickly! "Ahem...erm...right. That's...that's very clever...ahh, next riddle! Next riddle. Three men fall into a lake, but onl-" "He's Bald. "Tac growled, his patience growing thing while the fur on the back of his neck began to bristle. Riddley's mouth dropped open and he paused for a moment, contemplating what to do next. "Be you an angel?" Asked the astounded pup. Tac just glared. Crosswise burst into giggles. "O, ok...ok...um...A cowboy comes into town on Friday, stays for three days, and then leaves on friday. How is that possible?" Asks the odd puppy. Tac pauses a moment, seeming stumped, before he glanced at Aria. "Violence. " He spit with a certain disdain. Aria gave a jagged, toothy grin, and marched over to the other puppy, who quickly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Violence is NOT the correct answer!" Announced Riddley, who seemed beside himself with glee that Tac had failed. Tac offered a vicious smirk. "No, I'm quite sure violence is the answer to this problem." Tac offered, and Aria leaned back, wound up her fist, and punched Riddley square in the nose. The other pupped offered a smile, in which three of his teeth clattered to the ground, and his eyes rolled back before he collapsed on the spot. "How DID I ever manage to survive without you my dear?" Tac grinned as Aria preened. "Proceed. We've little time to spare if we have our minds set on catching up with those fools in front of us. " Tac huffed. Dipstick gave a whine. "But I'm hunnnnnngry!" He whimpered. Tac sighed and rolled his eyes. "I SAID proceed.......AFTER we break for lunch." He quipped. And thats where they had Lunch, after Crosswise and Aria rolled Riddley's body into the chasm he was guarding.
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Post by Belchic on Dec 24, 2008 2:57:43 GMT -5
Chapter 4 - The Forest of Fears
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After crossing the bridge, our heroes found themselves in a dark spooky wood. "Oh, well, what do you know?" Noggin said sarcastically. "We're on a quest and have found ourselves in some spooky woods. How very cliche." "What's the map say about these woods, Belchic?" asked Joey. Belchic read the map: "It says that we are in the Fearful Forest. There also appears to be a subnote under it. It says...if you've made it this far...you will die." "Well, that's reassuring," said Noggin.
Everyone just stood closely to each other to make sure nothing bad happened to anybody. Lizzie held onto Joey real tight, Tippy stood closely to Belchic, and Noggin just stayed closeby with his arms folded. A strange sound was heard, which made Lizzie jump. "What was that?" she panicked. "Lizzie, calm down," Noggin quickly replied. "It's probably nothing too serious. Whatever you do, don't bark. There's always a big flock of bats hiding in these situations." "Bats live in caves, Mr. I'm-so-smart-and-you're-not," Belchic said to Noggin. Just then, the rustling sound was heard again. This time, everyone heard it. "Do you think something could really be out to get us?" asked Joey. "Well, if it's anyone I know," said Noggin, "it's probably Breath-Mint Boy." "Tell me about it," said Belchic. "That evil pup gets on my nerves so much! I hate him so much that I wish I never met him! It doesn't matter what I do, he still threatens me for every little thing that I do, even when it doesn't involve him! And if he thinks he can just show up and threaten to kill me like that without any real explanation..." Suddenly out of nowhere, Tic-Tac popped up from behind a bush, wrapped one arm around Belchic's neck and held a gun up against his head. Belchic hesitantly continued, "...then he's absolutely right! I was just kidding! I swear, I was just kidding!" With that said, Tac disappeared. "Did you see that?" asked Joey. "He just dissappeared!"
Noggin looked at the map: "It says here that the Fearful Forest is a dark place where anyone who enters will see images of their greatest fears." "Huh!" grunted Belchic. "Who would believe a silly thing like that?" As he spoke, a large saw blade came buzzing towards him. Tippy flipped and quickly moved him out of the way. "Tippy, what was that for?" asked Belchic. "You were about to get killed!" she answered. "There was nothing there," said Belchic. "But I saw a big blade," said Tippy. "Maybe that's what the map is talking about," said Noggin. Just then, Belchic saw a swarm of bees flying towards them. He freaked out and ran as fast as he could. Tippy ran after him. Joey then envisioned a clown coming towards him, which caused him to run away. Lizzie then saw fireworks going off, which made really loud noise causing her to scare and run away. Noggin, thinking that this whole thing was ridiculous just turned the other way, but only to discover Blue from "Blue's Clues". This encouraged Noggin to keep up with the others.
For the next few hours, the pups kept running berzerk through the forest facing fear after fear. They kept running so much that they didn't even know they were still in the forest or not. Eventually, everyone stopped envisioning fears, and all made it into broad daylight, where they all finally reunited.
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To be continued...
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Post by Tic-Tac on Dec 24, 2008 6:36:46 GMT -5
Wow. You're cameo actually made me Laugh out loud. ... Carry on.
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Post by Belchic on Dec 25, 2008 1:35:38 GMT -5
I'm taking a short break due to the holiday but will be back shortly.
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Post by Belchic on Dec 31, 2008 1:53:45 GMT -5
Chapter 5 - Disorientation
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As it appeared to the pups, they had found their way out of the Forest of Fears. Now, it is time for them to figure out where they were supposed to go next. Noggin was able to get reception on his footprint-tracking device again now that they were out of the forest. "Well, it's nice to see this baby back up and running," he said while Belchic was looking at the map. "In that direction is Mount Snow-Coney," he said pointing in one direction. "If we can get over that mountain, we can find our way to that mystic cave with ease." "I don't think so, Belchic," contridicted Noggin. "According to my device, the pups went this way. I say we take this route." "What are you talking about?" asked Belchic. "The mountain is a shorter route! We should go that way!" "That's an old map, Belchic!" said Noggin. "This is modern technology!" "But they had to have taken the mountain path!" said Belchic. "NO, NO, NO! YOU CAN'T READ!" yelled Noggin.
Frustrated, Noggin went up to Belchic and compared his device to the map. "My device works like a GPS," said Noggin. "I know the best route we can take." "Do you have it set for shortest route?" asked Belchic. "No," said Noggin. "I have it set for least use of highways...and that includes mountains!" "What problem do you have with mountains?" Belchic asked amazed. "Listen, Bel-boy," said Noggin. "I warned you about this earlier. A leader has to be someone to leadering. If you want to lead this group, you need to know exactly what you're doing." "Belchy, I'm hungry," moaned Tippy. "Can we stop arguing and eat something?" "That may be a good idea, Tippy," said Noggin, "but unfortunately we don't have any food. You should have thought of bringing some before we left. Or better yet, if you want to eat something, why don't you eat Belchic's brain? He's not using it!" "Noggin, don't be so stubborn!" said Belchic. "Who says I'm being stubborn?" snapped Noggin. "You're the one who got us into this mess in the first place!"
Meanwhile, several miles above them was a private jet plane. As it turned out, there was a cooler on board. However, the emergency door on the side of the plane flew open causing the cooler to fall out.
Back on land, Noggin and Belchic continued bickering. "Maybe you're right, Noggin," said Belchic. "Maybe you shouldn't have come with us afterall. You've been a real douche this whole adventure." "Well, I'm glad you're finally getting some sense knocked into you," replied Noggin. "Now, tell your girlfriend to shut her stomach up!" "I can't," said Belchic. "That would be mean." "Well, she's going to have to starve to death, anyway," said Noggin. "We're out in the middle of nowhere. It's not like food can just fall right from the sky!" Surprisingly, that cooler that came from the plane had just landed right in front of them. All five of the pups were curious about the cooler, so they decided to look inside. Opening the cooler, they found hot dogs, marshmallows, sodas, and other good stuff. "You were saying?" Belchic said to Noggin with a grin. Noggin answered, "For the record, I'm going to consider this a coincidence, and not a sign from God!"
"So, let's eat, shall we?" stated Lizzie. "Wait a minute," said Tippy. "We can't eat these cold, can we?" "Perhaps we could build a fire?" suggested Joey. "Yeah! Let's build a fire!" shouted Belchic patting Joey on the back. "Great idea, buddy-boy-buddy-boy-buddy-boy-buddy-boy!" With a smile on his face, Belchic ran out to get firewood. "Does Belchic know what he's doing?" asked Noggin. "Trust me, Noggin," said Tippy. "I've been dating Belchic for a really long time. He'll be back with plenty of firewood faster than you can say 'bad television'." Curious, Noggin said, "Bad tele-" then Belchic was back. "I'm back!" said Belchic. "Boy, he is good," said Noggin.
============================================== To be continued...
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