Post by RaceFanX on Mar 23, 2006 10:39:38 GMT -5
Dogs of Thunder introduced Grutley Motor Speedway. I always wanted to go back and thru a kind-of uncreative storyline give the track some backstory and history. Some thru super high tech VCR-releated technology here is a piece of it. Let's hope this isn't too much of a big one off turn 2...
(Normal opening, Patriot is thumbing thru videos. All are labeled. "Thunderbolt tape 1" "Thunderbolt tape 2" "Thunderbolt: The Movie" "Thunderbolt 2: Bolt Harder" "Thunderbolt 3-D" "The Passion of the Thunderbolt" "Pongo and Perdy's Honeymoon (don't touch!)" "1997 Stanley Cup Finals, Game 4" "Mona Lisa Smile" "Benji the Destroyer" "Tommy Tutone Live in Concert" "Thunderbolt vs. The Masked Marauders" "1983 Grutley K.K. 500")
Patriot: Ah, here we go!
(Takes the last one and places it in the VCR)
Sparky: What's ya got Patriot?
Patriot: The 1983 Kanine Krunchies 500, got it off eBAY.
Sparky: Who wins? D.W.? Bobby Allison?
Patriot: Just watch, you'll like the ending.
Sparky: Okay? (shouts) Hey Slayer, old race on tape.
(He walks up and sits down next to a sleeping Axlu [Kenny's rejected character]. Patriot hits plays and the tape begins. The old TNN "American Sports Calvacade" opening runs)
Slayer: How old is this?
Patriot: Let's just say Crockett and Tubbs haven't even teamed up yet.
(Walking by)
Lucky: I called this TV at 4 PM. Please be done by than.
Patriot: Darn, forgot. Okay, I'll just have to fast forward.
(He fast forwards past a annoncers Brock Yates and the late Steve Evans introducing themselves and cuts straight to the staring lineup. We get a good look at Grutley Motor Speedway. Back in the eighties it looks like it was paved with tarmac instead of concrete, had fewer stands, and a catchfench that doesn't go thru the stand-less turns.)
Steve: We've got 40 of the best racers in the world competing today. Let's take a look at the staring lineup for the Kanine Krunchies 500 presented by the fine folks at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Brock: It's deep fried for several minuntes in 11 herbs and spices so it's finger lickin' good. (in present day Spot walks by, hears that and faints)
ROW 1
Ricky Rudd, white #3 Piedmont Airlines Chevrolet
Darrel Waltrip, yellow #11 Pepsi Chevrolet
ROW 2
Cale Yarbough, orange and white #28 Hardee's Chevrolet
Richard Petty, bright blue and red #43 STP Pontiac
ROW 3
Bobby Allison, white #22 Miller Brewing Buick
Tim Richmond, red #27 Old Milwaukee Pontiac
ROW 4
Morgan Shepard, blue #2 J.D. Stacy Buick
Geoff Bodine, green and white #88 Gatorade Pontiac
ROW 5
Mark Martin, yellow #4 Morgan-McClure Motorsports Oldsmobile
Dale Earnhardt, yellow and blue #15 Wrangler Jeans Ford...
(Lineup contunines but cut back to the pups. Sparky and Slayer muzzles are on the floor)
Sparky: Ah, ah...Big E in a Fo, For.
Slayer: Why isn't Dale in the #3 car.
Patriot(fast forwarding): Contray to what some car owners may lead you to believe, other drivers have driven and had success with that car number. (looks at TV) Oh, that was the start (presses play)
(On TV)
Steve: All cars are coming up to speed now. We have two on-board cameras in today's race riding with Tim Richmond and Darrel Waltrip.
(fast forward)
Steve: One car slow on the backstretch and there's a big puff of smoke.
Brock: It's the red #72 Ramada Inn Chevrolet of Missouri short track star Rusty Wallce. Rusty had a second in one of these things not to long ago at Atlanta but he's only running this race to make up to Ramada for DNQing at the Daytona 500.
Steve: He will join Canadian Trevor Boys, Dean Combs, Phil Parsons and D.K. Ulrich in the garage early today. Oh, car spins in the oil. It's Tim Richmond in #27, the Blue Max Motorsports entry.
(Cut to Tim's onboard and he gets back in the race)
Brock: The whole Blue Max team has to be ticked at Wallace right now.
(fast forward)
Steve: And we've got a battle for the lead. #11 Darrel Waltrip and the black #55 Copehagen Chevy of Benny Parsons.
Brock: Whoa, contact! These two champs are going at it like they're both goin' quit tomorrow.
(fast forward)
Steve: Green flag pit stops. Our leaders including Rudd, Earnhardt, Waltrip, and Yarbough have already pitted leaving #47 Buick of Ron Bouchard leading but he's coming in.
Brock: And so is Terry Labonte in the red #44 Budweiser Chevy which will complete pit stops and leave the lead to...
(The #43 darts by)
Steve: RICHARD PETTY! And hot on the King's heels is #16, the Silver Fox, David Pearson in Chattanooga Chew Chevy! He races up along side the King.
Brock: It's a short track-like battle. They're rubbing.
Steve: Pearson is loose. He's spinning! Look out! He's in the wall hard backwards. He's coming down the track look out!
(Several cars crash into or trying avoid Pearson)
Steve: Yellow flag. It is just chaos on the frontstretch. Several of the leaders among others have been invovled. Geoff Bodine in the green and white #88 Gatorade Pontiac, Buddy Baker in the #21 Ford for the Wood Brothers, Tim Richmond has smashed the #27 up pretty good. #44 Terry Labonte and the green and white #33 Skoal Bandit Chevy of "Handsome" Harry Gant are all involved.
Brock: It looks like #52 Jimmy Means, #17 Sterling Marlin and #70 J.D. McDuffie are all involved too. Oh and Junior in car #8 is wrecked.
Steve: Yeah that's tough luck for Bobby Hillin Jr. but he'll be back next time. Look at Morgan Shepard sideways thru the grass but he corrects, doesn't hit anything and blue and yellow duece is back in the race.
Brock: Good stragety, Bill Elliott in the red #9 Ford and Buddy Arrington in the red and blue #67 Dodge, the only Mopar in the field, used the same stragety to miss the wreck.
(fast forward)
Patriot: Hey, has anyone checked Spot's pulse. She's been awful quiet lately.
Cadpig: What happen redneck, you kill her.
Patriot: Shut up runt dog.
(Spot is still out cold as Rolly appears per contract obligation)
Rolly: She okay, just unconsicious.
Two-Tone: Shouldn't we revive her.
Rolly: Nah, the people reading this for the most part don't like Spot.
(Back to the race)
Steve: 3 laps to go and it's a two car battle for the win between Earnhardt in that #3 Chevy and Ricky Rudd.
Brock: That's Rudd in the white #3, Earnhardt's in the #15 Bud Moore Ford.
Steve: Oops, my mistake. 2 to go with Rudd in front. He's seeking his second career win, he won at Riverside earilier this year.
Brock: He's got a mirror full of the man in blue, Ironhead is coming!
Steve: Earnhardt, our 1980 champion puts the spurs to that slick T-Bird. It's goin' be a shootout as they take the white flag. Earnhardt's got the inside line as lap the damaged car of J.D. McDuffie.
Brock: Rudd fights back in the turns.
Steve: Down the back stretch here comes Earnhardt. They touch, neither of them giving an inch.
Brock: And Rudd takes the lead back. Off turn 4, Earnhardt gives him a bump, he's loose!
Steve: Dale Earnhardt drives by and wins the Grutley Kanine Kruniches 500! Wow what a finish.
Brock: Rudd is second followed by Richard Petty, Bobby Allison, and Darrel Waltrip to round out the top 5.
Steve: 6th thru 10th are Morgan Shepard, Lake Speed, Benny Parsons, Bill Elliott and a strong run for young Mark Martin to round out the top 10. Let's go to victory lane. But our winner today after a very intimidating move is Dale Earnhardt in that slick Ford from Bud Moore and he's in victory lane.
(In victory lane)
Pit reporter: Dale Earnhardt. Back to back Grutley 500 wins, how do you feel.
Dale Earnhardt: Whoa, tired, it's hot in there. Bud and the crew gave me a great car today. This #15 Wrangler Jeans Ford was a rocket.
Pit Reporter: Think you can regain your title?
Dale: Not this year, we've too far back but I will tell I know I've got another 2 or 3 or maybe even 6 titles left in me. I will gain it back.
Pit Reporter: There you have it, Dale Earnhardt, winner of the 1983 Kanine Krunchies 500.
(Stop, eject)
Patriot: Alright Luck, you're TV. (To Sparky and Slayer) What'd you two think?...Guys?
Slayer(brought to tears): Classic Earnhardt.
Sparky: Earnhardt in a Ford! Earnhardt in a Ford? It still doesn't sound right.
Patriot: He switched to Chevy the next year dude. Get over it. Maddy(to offscreen pup), he's losing it!
Madison(actually showing up): Alright, come on Sparky (grabs him by the tail and drags him off), we've gotta go take a swim or something.
(All laugh in 80s style ending)
THE END
Boogity, Boogity, Boogity Boys, Let's go racin'!
(Normal opening, Patriot is thumbing thru videos. All are labeled. "Thunderbolt tape 1" "Thunderbolt tape 2" "Thunderbolt: The Movie" "Thunderbolt 2: Bolt Harder" "Thunderbolt 3-D" "The Passion of the Thunderbolt" "Pongo and Perdy's Honeymoon (don't touch!)" "1997 Stanley Cup Finals, Game 4" "Mona Lisa Smile" "Benji the Destroyer" "Tommy Tutone Live in Concert" "Thunderbolt vs. The Masked Marauders" "1983 Grutley K.K. 500")
Patriot: Ah, here we go!
(Takes the last one and places it in the VCR)
Sparky: What's ya got Patriot?
Patriot: The 1983 Kanine Krunchies 500, got it off eBAY.
Sparky: Who wins? D.W.? Bobby Allison?
Patriot: Just watch, you'll like the ending.
Sparky: Okay? (shouts) Hey Slayer, old race on tape.
(He walks up and sits down next to a sleeping Axlu [Kenny's rejected character]. Patriot hits plays and the tape begins. The old TNN "American Sports Calvacade" opening runs)
Slayer: How old is this?
Patriot: Let's just say Crockett and Tubbs haven't even teamed up yet.
(Walking by)
Lucky: I called this TV at 4 PM. Please be done by than.
Patriot: Darn, forgot. Okay, I'll just have to fast forward.
(He fast forwards past a annoncers Brock Yates and the late Steve Evans introducing themselves and cuts straight to the staring lineup. We get a good look at Grutley Motor Speedway. Back in the eighties it looks like it was paved with tarmac instead of concrete, had fewer stands, and a catchfench that doesn't go thru the stand-less turns.)
Steve: We've got 40 of the best racers in the world competing today. Let's take a look at the staring lineup for the Kanine Krunchies 500 presented by the fine folks at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Brock: It's deep fried for several minuntes in 11 herbs and spices so it's finger lickin' good. (in present day Spot walks by, hears that and faints)
ROW 1
Ricky Rudd, white #3 Piedmont Airlines Chevrolet
Darrel Waltrip, yellow #11 Pepsi Chevrolet
ROW 2
Cale Yarbough, orange and white #28 Hardee's Chevrolet
Richard Petty, bright blue and red #43 STP Pontiac
ROW 3
Bobby Allison, white #22 Miller Brewing Buick
Tim Richmond, red #27 Old Milwaukee Pontiac
ROW 4
Morgan Shepard, blue #2 J.D. Stacy Buick
Geoff Bodine, green and white #88 Gatorade Pontiac
ROW 5
Mark Martin, yellow #4 Morgan-McClure Motorsports Oldsmobile
Dale Earnhardt, yellow and blue #15 Wrangler Jeans Ford...
(Lineup contunines but cut back to the pups. Sparky and Slayer muzzles are on the floor)
Sparky: Ah, ah...Big E in a Fo, For.
Slayer: Why isn't Dale in the #3 car.
Patriot(fast forwarding): Contray to what some car owners may lead you to believe, other drivers have driven and had success with that car number. (looks at TV) Oh, that was the start (presses play)
(On TV)
Steve: All cars are coming up to speed now. We have two on-board cameras in today's race riding with Tim Richmond and Darrel Waltrip.
(fast forward)
Steve: One car slow on the backstretch and there's a big puff of smoke.
Brock: It's the red #72 Ramada Inn Chevrolet of Missouri short track star Rusty Wallce. Rusty had a second in one of these things not to long ago at Atlanta but he's only running this race to make up to Ramada for DNQing at the Daytona 500.
Steve: He will join Canadian Trevor Boys, Dean Combs, Phil Parsons and D.K. Ulrich in the garage early today. Oh, car spins in the oil. It's Tim Richmond in #27, the Blue Max Motorsports entry.
(Cut to Tim's onboard and he gets back in the race)
Brock: The whole Blue Max team has to be ticked at Wallace right now.
(fast forward)
Steve: And we've got a battle for the lead. #11 Darrel Waltrip and the black #55 Copehagen Chevy of Benny Parsons.
Brock: Whoa, contact! These two champs are going at it like they're both goin' quit tomorrow.
(fast forward)
Steve: Green flag pit stops. Our leaders including Rudd, Earnhardt, Waltrip, and Yarbough have already pitted leaving #47 Buick of Ron Bouchard leading but he's coming in.
Brock: And so is Terry Labonte in the red #44 Budweiser Chevy which will complete pit stops and leave the lead to...
(The #43 darts by)
Steve: RICHARD PETTY! And hot on the King's heels is #16, the Silver Fox, David Pearson in Chattanooga Chew Chevy! He races up along side the King.
Brock: It's a short track-like battle. They're rubbing.
Steve: Pearson is loose. He's spinning! Look out! He's in the wall hard backwards. He's coming down the track look out!
(Several cars crash into or trying avoid Pearson)
Steve: Yellow flag. It is just chaos on the frontstretch. Several of the leaders among others have been invovled. Geoff Bodine in the green and white #88 Gatorade Pontiac, Buddy Baker in the #21 Ford for the Wood Brothers, Tim Richmond has smashed the #27 up pretty good. #44 Terry Labonte and the green and white #33 Skoal Bandit Chevy of "Handsome" Harry Gant are all involved.
Brock: It looks like #52 Jimmy Means, #17 Sterling Marlin and #70 J.D. McDuffie are all involved too. Oh and Junior in car #8 is wrecked.
Steve: Yeah that's tough luck for Bobby Hillin Jr. but he'll be back next time. Look at Morgan Shepard sideways thru the grass but he corrects, doesn't hit anything and blue and yellow duece is back in the race.
Brock: Good stragety, Bill Elliott in the red #9 Ford and Buddy Arrington in the red and blue #67 Dodge, the only Mopar in the field, used the same stragety to miss the wreck.
(fast forward)
Patriot: Hey, has anyone checked Spot's pulse. She's been awful quiet lately.
Cadpig: What happen redneck, you kill her.
Patriot: Shut up runt dog.
(Spot is still out cold as Rolly appears per contract obligation)
Rolly: She okay, just unconsicious.
Two-Tone: Shouldn't we revive her.
Rolly: Nah, the people reading this for the most part don't like Spot.
(Back to the race)
Steve: 3 laps to go and it's a two car battle for the win between Earnhardt in that #3 Chevy and Ricky Rudd.
Brock: That's Rudd in the white #3, Earnhardt's in the #15 Bud Moore Ford.
Steve: Oops, my mistake. 2 to go with Rudd in front. He's seeking his second career win, he won at Riverside earilier this year.
Brock: He's got a mirror full of the man in blue, Ironhead is coming!
Steve: Earnhardt, our 1980 champion puts the spurs to that slick T-Bird. It's goin' be a shootout as they take the white flag. Earnhardt's got the inside line as lap the damaged car of J.D. McDuffie.
Brock: Rudd fights back in the turns.
Steve: Down the back stretch here comes Earnhardt. They touch, neither of them giving an inch.
Brock: And Rudd takes the lead back. Off turn 4, Earnhardt gives him a bump, he's loose!
Steve: Dale Earnhardt drives by and wins the Grutley Kanine Kruniches 500! Wow what a finish.
Brock: Rudd is second followed by Richard Petty, Bobby Allison, and Darrel Waltrip to round out the top 5.
Steve: 6th thru 10th are Morgan Shepard, Lake Speed, Benny Parsons, Bill Elliott and a strong run for young Mark Martin to round out the top 10. Let's go to victory lane. But our winner today after a very intimidating move is Dale Earnhardt in that slick Ford from Bud Moore and he's in victory lane.
(In victory lane)
Pit reporter: Dale Earnhardt. Back to back Grutley 500 wins, how do you feel.
Dale Earnhardt: Whoa, tired, it's hot in there. Bud and the crew gave me a great car today. This #15 Wrangler Jeans Ford was a rocket.
Pit Reporter: Think you can regain your title?
Dale: Not this year, we've too far back but I will tell I know I've got another 2 or 3 or maybe even 6 titles left in me. I will gain it back.
Pit Reporter: There you have it, Dale Earnhardt, winner of the 1983 Kanine Krunchies 500.
(Stop, eject)
Patriot: Alright Luck, you're TV. (To Sparky and Slayer) What'd you two think?...Guys?
Slayer(brought to tears): Classic Earnhardt.
Sparky: Earnhardt in a Ford! Earnhardt in a Ford? It still doesn't sound right.
Patriot: He switched to Chevy the next year dude. Get over it. Maddy(to offscreen pup), he's losing it!
Madison(actually showing up): Alright, come on Sparky (grabs him by the tail and drags him off), we've gotta go take a swim or something.
(All laugh in 80s style ending)
THE END
Boogity, Boogity, Boogity Boys, Let's go racin'!