Post by RaceFanX on Jan 2, 2007 11:09:08 GMT -5
This is a joke fanfic used as an excuse to put almost every single character in mortal peril and have the most unlikely of events occur then have them be saved by an unlikely plot twist that seems like a cheat at the very end of the fic. IT IS NOT CANON, NONE OF THESE DEATHS OCCUR! Most of the fic is set up in a trailer-like fasion, the spaces indicate cutting to a new scene. Now on with the show...
LAST TIME ON 101 DALMATIANS: THE SERIES...
Two-Tone: Oh Lucky, I can't believe you told off Rebecca.
Lucky: Two-Tone, I love you and will always be there for you. But I've got to go meet up with Tripod right now.
Two-Tone: Alright.
(Rebecca comes round the corner driving a car and aiming it at Two-Tone. Two-Tone doesn't see it)
Lucky: Two-Tone! Look Out!
Two-Tone: Huh?
(Lucky leaps into action, shoving Two-Tone out of the way just in time, but he is run over and killed in the process. Rebecca loses control of the car and via a piece of 80s live action stock footage, it plummets over a cliff and explodes on impact, killing her)
Two-Tone(Holding Lucky in her arms as he dies): Lucky! NNOOOOOO!!!!
Cruella: Anita, you don't want to do this
(Pan over to Anita, holding a handgun)
Anita: Yes I do!
(She shoots her boss)
Tic-Tac: You know what, screw this being evil crap. From now on, I'm one of the good guys.
(In Cruella's office, Cadpig and Noggin are trying to diffuse a bomb)
Noggin: Cut the blue wire.
Cadpig: They're all blue!
Noggin: Ah, take your best guess.
Cadpig: Will you stand by my judgement.
Noggin: Oh course Cadpig, I love you.
(Cadpig bites one of the wires and snaps it in half. The timer reads 007. Cut outside the building, where 7 seconds later the entire office explodes in a ball of fire! Half a blue dog collar and a burning green hat float toward the ground among the debris)
(In an c o c kpit of a commercial jetliner)
Tye (piloting): LaGuardia! LaGuardia! This is Endeavour Airlines Flight 102 requesting an emergency landing. We've experienced an explosive decompression and both pilots are dead.
Radio: Then who is flying the plane?
RaceFanX (co-piloting): We are, we're two of the passengers. Clear us for landing! I think she's starting to break up. We can't keep her in the air much longer!
(Cut to the outside of the jet, there is a gigantic hole in the left side of the c o ckpit. A crack starts to form and runs along the side of the airplane. As it reaches the left wing, the entire wing breaks off, the now loose wing knocks off the plane's tailfin on its way toward the ground)
RaceFanX: Ah, Houston, we have a problem.
(Alarms start to sound. The plane starts to roll over and lose altitude, they're goin' crash!)
Tye: Aim for the Hudson! We can't kill anyone on the ground.
Alarm: WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP! WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP!
RaceFanX: There's no time!
(Long shot as the plane goes upside down and vanishes behind a row a buildings. There is an incredibly loud collision sound followed by a large stream of black smoke rising above the skyline)
Rip: Razor, this is out of character, you don't want to do this.
(Pan over to Razor, holding a handgun)
Razor: Yes I do!
(Shoots)
(Ivy is holding onto the edge, about to fall over a cliff)
Ivy: Amber, pull me up, I'm goin' fall.
(Amber smiles, than steps on Ivy's hand and presses hard. Ivy let's go.)
Amber: Have a nice fall...****.
Lt. Pug: Cadet Triplex, you have execeded my every goal.
Tripod: Thank you sir!
Lt. Pug: You are a fine solider. And that is why I've had you transfered, you will report for active duty in Iraq.
(Patriot overlooks Penny's dead body, she's been stabbed)
Patriot: WHO DID THIS TO YOU!
Ralphie St. Laurent: Roger, you don't want to do this.
(Pan over to Roger, holding a handgun)
Roger: Yes I do!
(Shoots)
(A freight train rounds the bend, cut down the tracks about a mile)
Lita (tied to the tracks): Slayer, hurry!
Slayer: Don't worry Lita, I'll get this knot undone. This would be a lot easier with opposible thumbs.
(Train horn blows)
Lita: Slayer!
Slayer(looks toward train): Oh my...
(They're both deer in the headlights.)
Sparky: Tell Nanny not to start the bus!
(The Puppy Bus explodes right in their driveway)
Hunting Buddy: Richard, you don't want to do this. We're just quail hunting.
(Pan over to the Vice President, holding a rifle)
Vice President: Yes I do!
(Shoots)
Spot: Has anyone seen Rolly?
(The image on the TV screen flickers, than is replaced by Rolly who has a bunch of metal things attached to his face)
Rolly: I am Rolly of Borg. Resistance is futile.
(In the barn)
Spot: Ges, Jack Bauer doesn't have days this bad.
(The pups are around a metal box with some buttons on it)
Jewel: Are you sure this will work?
Belchic: It has to.
Raiden: If Noggin's time machine works with can go back and save everyone from their premature demises. We can undo all those bad events.
Two-Tone: We could save Lucky.
Jerko: And win at gambling like in Back to the Future Part II!
Vincent: Shut up Jerko.
(Belchic press some buttons. The machine buzzes to life...)
AND NOW TODAY'S EPISODE!
(As the time machine buzzes to life, it starts to viberate violently.)
Belchic: I have a bad feeling about this.
(Part of the left side of the box cracks, a jet of flame shoots out, igniting some hay bails)
Patch: We've got to get out of here!
(The fire in the barn quickly spreads, ingulfing all the exits and the roof)
Raiden: Don't worry, we're the main characters. I'm sure we'll get out of this alright.
(A large chunk of the roof gives way, it falls straight down and crushes and kills Raiden, Vincent, and Jerko. Noggin, Patch, & Jewel are also injured by other falling debris)
Two-Tone: NOOO!!!
Spot: We're goin' get roasted.
Two-Tone: Spot, I've always loved you like a sister.
Spot: What?
Two-Tone: All those times I tried to off you and take your place, I wasn't serious. That why I never actually killed you. But now it doesn't matter. It's not like there is a reset button I can press and undo all this.
Noggin (dying): Two-Tone, here, take this.
(Hands her a Staples-like red button labeled "Deus ex Machina")
Two-Tone: What is it?
Noggin: Just press it, there isn't much time. OOhhh! (He dies)
(A cracking sound is heard)
Two-Tone: Here goes everything!
(Just before she presses it, a support beam overhead gives way. Two-Tone slams the button than galnces up. The camera switches to her view as the beam seemingly crushes her with a thud. The screen goes black and silent for a moment. An image reappears on screen. It's the covers on Roger and Anita's bed. Pan over to where Two-Tone is sleeping cutely at the foot of the bed. She awakes with a jolt)
Two-Tone: What? Huh? Am I dead?
(She looks around than hoops off the bed and stares out the window at the barn, which looks completely normal. The shower is heard running. Two-Tone walks in, to see who it is, she pulls back the shower curtain revealing)
Lucky: Good morning.
(Commercial break)
Lucky (leaps up and shuts off water): What's the matter Two-Tone, you look like you've seen a ghost.
Two-Tone: Oh Lucky, it was awful. I had this dream where died saving my life. And then always everyone we care for got killing in various other ways and it was terrible.
Lucky: Oh, there there. It was a dream, just a dream. Nothing more, none of that stuff happened.
Two-Tone: Oh, Lucky!
(They hug, their tails wag)
Two-Tone: There's one other thing, I can't shake the feeling that this is very fimiliar to something else.
(There's a knock on the bathroom door as a man opens it)
Patrick Duffy: Hey, pup are you done yet. I'd like to get a shower in too before my fiance wakes up.
(Lucky and Two-Tone stare at him then stare at each other then stare right at the camera for an iris out with a stunned look on their faces)
THE END
LAST TIME ON 101 DALMATIANS: THE SERIES...
Two-Tone: Oh Lucky, I can't believe you told off Rebecca.
Lucky: Two-Tone, I love you and will always be there for you. But I've got to go meet up with Tripod right now.
Two-Tone: Alright.
(Rebecca comes round the corner driving a car and aiming it at Two-Tone. Two-Tone doesn't see it)
Lucky: Two-Tone! Look Out!
Two-Tone: Huh?
(Lucky leaps into action, shoving Two-Tone out of the way just in time, but he is run over and killed in the process. Rebecca loses control of the car and via a piece of 80s live action stock footage, it plummets over a cliff and explodes on impact, killing her)
Two-Tone(Holding Lucky in her arms as he dies): Lucky! NNOOOOOO!!!!
Cruella: Anita, you don't want to do this
(Pan over to Anita, holding a handgun)
Anita: Yes I do!
(She shoots her boss)
Tic-Tac: You know what, screw this being evil crap. From now on, I'm one of the good guys.
(In Cruella's office, Cadpig and Noggin are trying to diffuse a bomb)
Noggin: Cut the blue wire.
Cadpig: They're all blue!
Noggin: Ah, take your best guess.
Cadpig: Will you stand by my judgement.
Noggin: Oh course Cadpig, I love you.
(Cadpig bites one of the wires and snaps it in half. The timer reads 007. Cut outside the building, where 7 seconds later the entire office explodes in a ball of fire! Half a blue dog collar and a burning green hat float toward the ground among the debris)
(In an c o c kpit of a commercial jetliner)
Tye (piloting): LaGuardia! LaGuardia! This is Endeavour Airlines Flight 102 requesting an emergency landing. We've experienced an explosive decompression and both pilots are dead.
Radio: Then who is flying the plane?
RaceFanX (co-piloting): We are, we're two of the passengers. Clear us for landing! I think she's starting to break up. We can't keep her in the air much longer!
(Cut to the outside of the jet, there is a gigantic hole in the left side of the c o ckpit. A crack starts to form and runs along the side of the airplane. As it reaches the left wing, the entire wing breaks off, the now loose wing knocks off the plane's tailfin on its way toward the ground)
RaceFanX: Ah, Houston, we have a problem.
(Alarms start to sound. The plane starts to roll over and lose altitude, they're goin' crash!)
Tye: Aim for the Hudson! We can't kill anyone on the ground.
Alarm: WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP! WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP!
RaceFanX: There's no time!
(Long shot as the plane goes upside down and vanishes behind a row a buildings. There is an incredibly loud collision sound followed by a large stream of black smoke rising above the skyline)
Rip: Razor, this is out of character, you don't want to do this.
(Pan over to Razor, holding a handgun)
Razor: Yes I do!
(Shoots)
(Ivy is holding onto the edge, about to fall over a cliff)
Ivy: Amber, pull me up, I'm goin' fall.
(Amber smiles, than steps on Ivy's hand and presses hard. Ivy let's go.)
Amber: Have a nice fall...****.
Lt. Pug: Cadet Triplex, you have execeded my every goal.
Tripod: Thank you sir!
Lt. Pug: You are a fine solider. And that is why I've had you transfered, you will report for active duty in Iraq.
(Patriot overlooks Penny's dead body, she's been stabbed)
Patriot: WHO DID THIS TO YOU!
Ralphie St. Laurent: Roger, you don't want to do this.
(Pan over to Roger, holding a handgun)
Roger: Yes I do!
(Shoots)
(A freight train rounds the bend, cut down the tracks about a mile)
Lita (tied to the tracks): Slayer, hurry!
Slayer: Don't worry Lita, I'll get this knot undone. This would be a lot easier with opposible thumbs.
(Train horn blows)
Lita: Slayer!
Slayer(looks toward train): Oh my...
(They're both deer in the headlights.)
Sparky: Tell Nanny not to start the bus!
(The Puppy Bus explodes right in their driveway)
Hunting Buddy: Richard, you don't want to do this. We're just quail hunting.
(Pan over to the Vice President, holding a rifle)
Vice President: Yes I do!
(Shoots)
Spot: Has anyone seen Rolly?
(The image on the TV screen flickers, than is replaced by Rolly who has a bunch of metal things attached to his face)
Rolly: I am Rolly of Borg. Resistance is futile.
(In the barn)
Spot: Ges, Jack Bauer doesn't have days this bad.
(The pups are around a metal box with some buttons on it)
Jewel: Are you sure this will work?
Belchic: It has to.
Raiden: If Noggin's time machine works with can go back and save everyone from their premature demises. We can undo all those bad events.
Two-Tone: We could save Lucky.
Jerko: And win at gambling like in Back to the Future Part II!
Vincent: Shut up Jerko.
(Belchic press some buttons. The machine buzzes to life...)
AND NOW TODAY'S EPISODE!
(As the time machine buzzes to life, it starts to viberate violently.)
Belchic: I have a bad feeling about this.
(Part of the left side of the box cracks, a jet of flame shoots out, igniting some hay bails)
Patch: We've got to get out of here!
(The fire in the barn quickly spreads, ingulfing all the exits and the roof)
Raiden: Don't worry, we're the main characters. I'm sure we'll get out of this alright.
(A large chunk of the roof gives way, it falls straight down and crushes and kills Raiden, Vincent, and Jerko. Noggin, Patch, & Jewel are also injured by other falling debris)
Two-Tone: NOOO!!!
Spot: We're goin' get roasted.
Two-Tone: Spot, I've always loved you like a sister.
Spot: What?
Two-Tone: All those times I tried to off you and take your place, I wasn't serious. That why I never actually killed you. But now it doesn't matter. It's not like there is a reset button I can press and undo all this.
Noggin (dying): Two-Tone, here, take this.
(Hands her a Staples-like red button labeled "Deus ex Machina")
Two-Tone: What is it?
Noggin: Just press it, there isn't much time. OOhhh! (He dies)
(A cracking sound is heard)
Two-Tone: Here goes everything!
(Just before she presses it, a support beam overhead gives way. Two-Tone slams the button than galnces up. The camera switches to her view as the beam seemingly crushes her with a thud. The screen goes black and silent for a moment. An image reappears on screen. It's the covers on Roger and Anita's bed. Pan over to where Two-Tone is sleeping cutely at the foot of the bed. She awakes with a jolt)
Two-Tone: What? Huh? Am I dead?
(She looks around than hoops off the bed and stares out the window at the barn, which looks completely normal. The shower is heard running. Two-Tone walks in, to see who it is, she pulls back the shower curtain revealing)
Lucky: Good morning.
(Commercial break)
Lucky (leaps up and shuts off water): What's the matter Two-Tone, you look like you've seen a ghost.
Two-Tone: Oh Lucky, it was awful. I had this dream where died saving my life. And then always everyone we care for got killing in various other ways and it was terrible.
Lucky: Oh, there there. It was a dream, just a dream. Nothing more, none of that stuff happened.
Two-Tone: Oh, Lucky!
(They hug, their tails wag)
Two-Tone: There's one other thing, I can't shake the feeling that this is very fimiliar to something else.
(There's a knock on the bathroom door as a man opens it)
Patrick Duffy: Hey, pup are you done yet. I'd like to get a shower in too before my fiance wakes up.
(Lucky and Two-Tone stare at him then stare at each other then stare right at the camera for an iris out with a stunned look on their faces)
THE END