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Post by Sweeney Terrier on May 1, 2014 13:35:29 GMT -5
Regarding the MLP:FIM fanfic I made months ago, after reading and revising it a bit, (on the original file not on here of course), I can't help but want to make a possible sequel to it. By possible I mean that it could be an alternate ending to what the reader might think happens, like how d**kens's "Great Expectations" has an alternate ending. The original, and the one desired by the public. Just asking but would any of you pups like to see a possible sequel to the tail? (It will be in parts, jsyk and of a different name.)
P.S. If anyone has ideas for a title for the 'sequel' go ahead and PM me or post it in this thread. And should the sequel be in a 1st-pony point of view, in possibly the same or a similar manner to the 1st story or should it be 3rd-person.
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on May 6, 2014 6:59:18 GMT -5
I have now finished the 1st entry/part of my potential sequel, (titled "Pony of the Refugee", {a pun on the song title "Prayer of the Refugee"}). If any of you pups/ponies would like to see it, please say so, and perhaps also say whether I should post it in this thread or make a thread in the fanfic section for it.
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on May 6, 2014 11:16:48 GMT -5
Actually I think I'm just gonna post the 1st part here, so I can see what you pups/ponies think.
Oh gosh, what in Equestria have I done? This is the 2nd time I’ve given into the wrong side of my mind. As much as I regret this action, I fear that it is too late to turn back. I’m past the point of no return, I feel. May Celestia and Luna have mercy upon me should either of them find me. I must explain myself first-off. My name is Noah….no, it’s currently Antonnius Thespis, and I’m a unicorn. To put it short, I’m not of Equestria but, allegedly through the magic of Princess Twilight Sparkle, I’ve been brought to this realm and, following a meeting with Princess Celestia, I had to go through the task of writing up what happened to me from seconds before entering Equestria, to around a few hours ago, when I mailed the parchment upon which I wrote my tale. Originally, I was planning on accepting my fate, which was to likely lose all memories of my human life, but a part of me, (the less obedient side), insisted upon fleeing or not heading towards Canterlot, for if I were to accept my fate, I might forget what I know about the pony friends I’ve made in Ponyville and Appleloosa, including Fluttershy. So, I took haste around 15 minutes following the mailing of the scrolls, heading to Apple Acres to tell Applejack that I was leaving. To where, I couldn’t say without lying. If I had said any specific location, (such as Appleloosa or Fillydelphia), the Princesses of night and day would’ve surely went to those locations), so I didn’t say a location, but merely that I wanted to explore the land outside of Ponyville and Fillydelphia, which was partly true given the train ride I had several days ago to Appleloosa. I can’t tell which direction I went in, as I don’t have a map nor a compass. However, I am certain that by now, Princess Celestia has acquired my letter, unless Derpy had some other parchments to deliver or collect. As of now, I think I am near the Everfree Forest, and am writing on what parchment I had left over from my writing task, (I suppose it’s become a habit), but I chose to least try either writing smaller or dividing the parchment in half, so that I have plenty of space. While it would be best to find a detour rather than trot through this thicket, I’d rather not wait and locate a passage while the Princess of the Sun and daylight gathers her guards. So, as much as I’ll surely regret it, I must travel through the Everfree Forest, without stopping by Zecora’s, to gain distance. However, thankfully, should it take hours to cross the ominous woodlands, I won’t starve as Applejack actually offered me a few apples to bring on my ‘expedition’, which I couldn’t help but accept. Though, truth be told, I feel guilty for not being honest with her. In regards to my thirst, I’ll have to either ‘suck’ up the juices within the apple upon biting into it OR take quick sips from any lakes/bayous I come across, which will be a difficulty. However, I fear the poison joke more than I do a mortal thirst, for if I get covered in poison joke again, I’ll most likely become a little filly, therefore unable to gain distance from Celestia and her guards more, if at all, than I can in my current body frame. For now, I feel I should, though reluctantly, go to sleep, for it is nigh dusk and I know well it’d be foolish to traverse the Everfree Forest when it is night, without a light. To prevent being spotted so soon, I should hide in a shrubbery and perhaps use what magic skills I can or have, to change my color to the same if not similar shades as the shrubbery, though I haven’t tried such a thing before. I hope this works, or that the guards don’t come in this direction just yet, but I have doubts of being safe even in sleep. Only this night’s slumber will show.
(End of 1st entry)
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on May 7, 2014 11:25:28 GMT -5
Part 2, though I feel this one isn't as good in value, (in certain parts), as the 1st entry.
I am afraid I am sorely mistaken about being safe in my dreams, for even there I am in danger of being spotted, or rather my location being announced to Celestia. It seems that nowhere am I purely safe. What happened is that, a while after dozing off in a dense shrubbery, with my fur colored a shade of green, I dreamt of a classic gothic novel from my realm, the human realm, of a tall, ominous yet truly not vicious, humanoid being that is created from a mix of deceased body parts but is opposed by all, even his creator, except the original narrator of the tale and a blind elder, and who else to play the poor creature but I, given my position and consequences of choosing to flee Ponyville and Canterlot rather than to accept my original fate. I feel I have few true friends, as I’ve lied to many but been true, honest, chivalrous, and partly optimistic to few, namely Rarity and Fluttershy I’d say. Anyway, what happened was that, being the creature, (of course in an equine bodily structure as was mainly everyone else in the dream), I trekked across the land, searching for a place to rest or call home or least to locate one who will call me friend which was surely not my creator, when, all of a sudden, while in the clearing of a forested valley, I caught sight of an all-too-familiar figure standing upon the apex of a hill, the full moon directly behind her. She took flight towards me with deep blue wings and a horn upon her forehead and that’s when my assumptions were confirmed. The feminine, alicorn being soaring in my direction, was Princess Luna, at which I froze in place, as if I was of the dead or otherwise a statue. However, as she landed, I turned to run, rather than try to fight her, but she spoke to me, insisting she simply wanted to talk. I couldn’t resist staying still and facing her again, and reluctantly agreed to talk. Though what followed was more like an interrogation. She questioned me as to why I left Ponyville and not agreed to appear before her sister for my ‘brain-washing’-like punishment, (my words, not hers). I very fearfully answered to her, explaining that I feared should I lose my memory of my previous world, I might also forget what I know about the ponies of Equestria, such as names and personalities to say the least. A moment of silence occurred, with only the wind preventing wholesome silence all the while, until Luna gave me a glare and breathed out before speaking, in her Canterlot voice, “Thou hast chosen thy fate, Antonius. Since thou hast chosen to flee from thy consequences of thy former actions, thou must deal with the effects that shall become present. Following the end of this dream, be wary of thy sleep, for I cannot go against the lawful desires of my sister.” I nodded my head, understanding this, sighing a bit sadly, but looked down at her, (the creature I was representing was rather tall after all), and questioned, though more as an equal than her superior, “Why stay in my dream if this is how it must be for our sakes?” She calmed down a bit but replied, not in rage or firmness but in a more friendly manner, with a slight smirk, “I said following this dream, dear subject, not ‘from now on’. Besides, you are a rather artistic pony, as I’ve seen and have a good taste in the arts.” At this I blushed a little, but then she stood back a moment and examined my appearance, now taking in the allegedly horrific physical description of a mad scientist’s attempt at reviving or ‘creating’ life from that which is dead. While I could see her being a bit appalled, she raised an eyebrow and kindly questioned, “Pray tell, dear subject Antonius, but what story of terror is thou dreaming of now?” So, I simply chose to freeze the scenery around us and explain the story to her in as brief, but detailed, a way as possible. However, as I told the story, the events were acted out in front of us, while I myself reverted to my unicorn form, possibly a way for Luna to understand the Gothic tragedy more easily. Following that, Luna very shortly thanked me for telling her the story but firmly reminded me of what was to be following my waking, which was within minutes as day was approaching, (which she also mentioned). We said our goodbyes, possibly the last time we’ll do it in a friendly manner. However, rather than wake up slowly, seconds after Princess Luna was gone, I woke up with a start, rather frightened for my life, or moreover, my memories and knowledge. Upon waking, I saw it was just past sunset and immediately scanned the area, looking for guards or ponies that would recognize me. Thankfully none, so I took haste into the Everfree Forest, keeping my hat firm upon my head, covering the horn, while wearing the jacket with what little cash, (two coins), I had. I admit, I avoided any primary pathway and essentially just ran in a mostly straight path, at times having to turn in a direction, (such as coming across a ‘lake’/swamp and having to go around it), but I just wanted to get THROUGH the Everfree Forest. At times, I didn’t bother checking where I stepped, which meant I surely touched some Poison Joke. Also, I did get lost every now and then, and froze in place for fear of the Hydra or another pack of Timberwolves. It took me from sunrise to what looked like 6 pm to cross that dastardly thicket, possibly longer than it took for Twilight and her friends to ‘escape’ Discord’s impossible labyrinth. I am now on the opposite side of the Everfree Forest, exhausted, but thankfully not starving nor utterly thirsty, but I have used up half an apple for both. I can feel sleep call to my tired heart, lungs, and mind, as the sun begins to set, but I try to fight them. I have not lost my stetson nor my money, but the terrain ahead I feel I have not quite seen before. I’m not sure. If I am to sleep, I must make it quick, to prevent dreaming and capture. As for the Poison joke…...I have indeed touched it for essentially all my legs now have pitch-black fur, if you can call it fur as it doesn’t seem to shine in the setting light of the sun. I don’t seem to have lost much height, but then again my mind is noticeably disoriented in measurements after that natural, dimly-lit maze, so I’d rather not stress on that. The good news is that I might be able to hide more easily as my fur is darker, least the legs are, and, far as I know, I won’t have to deal with anymore Poison Joke effects from now on. Oh, devious so-called safety of sleep, I reluctantly welcome you…..
(End of Entry 2).
By the way, I'm a bit stumped as to where Antonius could end up in the following few parts, (least the next one). The only ideas I can think of are Appleloosa, (which would surely lead to him having a Wanted Poster, by order of Princess Celestia), the Dragon's Keep, (in other words that crater Spike was in for the one episode with those brutish teenage dragons, but the Antonius will try to stay around the perimeter of it), maybe the Crystal Empire, or maybe just out in the desert. Any ideas or preferences?
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on May 12, 2014 21:39:43 GMT -5
Just saying but I would like some feedback on the 2 parts. ^^;
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2014 23:12:15 GMT -5
That was very good, Lupus, I would say the next stop for your OC would either be Appleloosa. (I like Western.) He can wear a mask like the Lone Ranger to conceal his identity when he goes there or the Crystal Palace, though if this is where I think it is, wouldn't Candace along with Shining Armor tell Celestia and Luna where he is?
I would say dessert but I doubt there's anything there to keep him alive, so I guess that would be out.
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on May 13, 2014 5:37:41 GMT -5
That's kinda the point, by now, Celestia has actually told the mane 6, and perhaps Cadence and SA. I might go for Appleloosa, though he won't be able to find or pay for something that could cover his face.
Also, if he went to Crystal Palace, Antonius wouldn't be able to flee. Although, the crystal palace would allow me to get to a little something I have in mind, perhaps more easily. Yet I feel things would be resolved too soon there.
What about the rest of you pups? What do u think?
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on May 19, 2014 11:47:59 GMT -5
Here's part 3, though I kinda feel like I'm losing my mo-jo a bit. I would like some feedback on this one.
As I expected, a little while after welcoming nightly slumber, I dreamt of certain things I’ve dreamt of before, (such as Fluttershy or any stories I feel fit me), but Princess Luna, or rather, one of her grey-furred personal guards, became present at one point or another within it, and what choice did I have but to acknowledge it, considering the pegasus practically soared down to me from the sky during one outdoors portion of my subconscious sequence. However, while the rest of the scenery paused, as he aerially charged at me, I was expecting having to fight so I tried to stand in a firm pose, ready to try defending myself, (actually bringing about a shield about the height of my legs to protect me as I wasn’t much of the physical person), BUT instead, the dark pegasus landed no more than a foot from my shield, (which was primarily ebony with traces of ivory and rose red, mind you), and snorted with a strong, fierce glare, (though not as effective as that of his superior’s stare), as he informed me that, while I could not possibly come with him as it was my dream and it was only thanks to Princess Luna he could do such a thing as enter mine, that I must give him my location in reality, or else he will have to use force on me. I did indeed ponder upon this, wondering whether or not bodily damage could be done to me in reality if he harmed me in my dreams. Yet I doubted such a thing could happen to me, BUT I did find it possible to harm his real self given it was Princess Luna who sent him into my dreams, which I felt as a risky maneuver, so I couldn’t help but oblige, but not in detail. All I gave to him was, “Beyond the dark and maze-like oak, in which one finds blue leaves that are far from jokes.” I will admit, I was trying to delay the Princesses’ progress to locate me, but at least I didn’t lie, for it was merely a slight riddle in rhyme, though he was certainly puzzled but had to accept it as he acknowledged that I would give nothing more, nor reveal the answer. After a few minutes, during which I disposed of the shield, he quite reluctantly chose to leave but warned that he will be back, and if not him, then Luna. Following his departure, which was no doubt him simply awaking in my opinion, the rest of my dream continued, though in truth it was most often scenes from certain stories I felt quite close to at the moment, such as “Wishing you Were Somehow Here Again”.....but with me singing it.
Eventually, I awoke, though oddly with a bit more energy than I would’ve expected to bear, given how long I tried to evade sleep the previous day, but I honestly only assumed it was because I didn’t feel as distraught as I last was, considering how I was fully aware of the dangers that haunted me and that I actually was able to delay my certainly inevitable mental demise. Anyway, given that the Poison Joke was within sight, I chose to simply run in the opposite direction of it, (after stretching of course). Once I did have to stop to take a nip and a sip of my remaining apple, but simply resumed the sprint, almost baking in the hot sun, as I took notice of the terrain becoming more like the barren desert. I was sure I was heading for Appleloosa, considering this, but one thing is 100% true. If I wasn’t to find shade or a lake soon, I would boil like liquid lava. The only thing I could’ve done to prolong the sunburn was to tilt my Stetson forward distinctly. Although, I did make another relieving revelation about this action, as I caught sight of Appleloosa in the distance. If my hat were to cover my horn and most of my eyes, I might be able to avoid identification and detainment in any town Celestia and Luna have informed of me needing to be capture. Yet, I also acknowledged that such an act would not be purely efficient, so I stopped atop a hill, with Appleloosa down below me and simply examined the progress of the poison joke pollen’s effect on me, and I noticed that the black shade had simply only covered my legs and hooves entirely but went no higher than my belly, (either that or my abdominal region was only dark because it wasn’t in the sunlight), but I could’ve sworn I was taller by some degree. I hypothesized that perhaps this black shade, though with my brown upper body fur didn’t look good, may help in keeping me anonymous. Problem is, I might need to give ANOTHER name should I purchase anything. I’ll need to deal with that issue anyway, given I have less than ½ an apple left, only two coins, and NO other source of food or drink whatsoever. Here’s hoping my profile isn’t on a wanted poster in Appleloosa, even though nopony has taken my photo as of now. Although, I can’t help but feel a mild distaste for apples…..maybe it’s just because that’s all I ate for the past day and a half.
(End of part 3)
Well, Antonius is going to Appleloosa. Question is…..will he be wanted in town or will he be able to evade identification?
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on Jun 18, 2014 20:26:36 GMT -5
This just in, my brother and I got a Wii U. One console and game pad and STEEK,(Jeff Dunham reference if you get it). Our black console came with super Mario bros. U and Super Luigi U. I'm anxious to actually play more games like Mario Kart 8, the new Smash bros. and so on.
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Post by Snivinerior on Jun 24, 2014 11:08:12 GMT -5
Hey Lupus, long time no see. Just browsing the forum and I happen to stumble upon your thread. Even though I haven't fully read your MLP:FIM fanfic, I can assume it's frigging awesome! And on a side note, I'm into MLP:FIM now as well... Hehe.
Even though I'm not into consoles, that's cool. But I really can't relate to "entertainment" now 'cause I'm experiencing some issue about it at the moment.
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on Jun 24, 2014 11:11:27 GMT -5
Thank you for your opinion on the story, Note/Snivy.
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Post by Snivinerior on Jun 24, 2014 11:14:55 GMT -5
Thank you for your opinion on the story, Note/Snivy. No prob bro. I'll read your fic as soon as I have the time.
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on Aug 13, 2014 19:31:26 GMT -5
One phrase, FML!!!!!!
I swear to God that when I am ABLE To use technology, (such as my 360 or YouTube), to be entertained, (or to relax), for hours sufficiently, the d*mn piece of sh!t decides not to cooperate and about the only time it doesn't seem to cooperate is when no one else is watching. I swear modern technology is not meant to f*cking work FOR, but rather piss me off and make me seem like a madman to pretty much everyone I deal with OFFLINE cause THEY DON'T KNOW D!CK ABOUT ME NOR BOTHER TO UNDERSTAND! Microsoft, Google, Comcast, Sony, CAN ALL GO F*CKING BURN IN HELL!!!
Two reasons I'm like this in regards to Today.
1st off, hours ago, my 360 was claiming it couldn't play my physical copy of Grand Theft Auto V because 'there was something wrong with the data in the Hard Drive', (the only ONE in the useless unit that can hold ALL of the data necessary to download JUST TO F*CKING PLAY IT), when in the past, (despite how many times I've hit it), It works FINE!
Secondly, just a few moments ago, I saw how many videos available to me uploaded by the YouTube channels I'm subscribed to, giving me plenty of time to watch videos without getting bored, and F*CKING YouTube can't load them worth Sh!T even at the lowest quality, even after I've reset Google Chrome's settings, (and even after Resetting it, the Internet's being crappy anyway with certain websites, but YouTube is STILL crap). Modern Technology is JUST F*CKING SH!T!! That's ALL it was EVER MEANT TO BE!
P.S. Maybe I am losing my mind. A few nights ago, despite feeling frustrated at a certain friend, (simply because of no longer rping which was my fault actually), I held in my anger throughout the day and, later on, when I tried going to sleep, I felt like I was losing it and becoming....to put it short, stark-raving mad, or feral, (clearly showing that holding in anger over time isn't good). HOWEVER, there is NOTHING I can smash, break, or even hit without getting lectured or yelled at by other people, namely my mom. NOTHING!! So, in the end, given that, as over time, my short temper gets worse and HARDER to control, and the fact that my apparent only 'legal', 'acceptable' option is to hold in all my pent-up rage, I will no doubt F*CKING LOSE IT because NO ONE in my F*CKING life offline, (least and especially my mom), UNDERSTANDS ANYTHING ABOUT ME!!!!
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Post by Belchic on Aug 13, 2014 23:01:08 GMT -5
I...honestly don't know how to feel about this.
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on Aug 13, 2014 23:28:54 GMT -5
*inhales and exhales deeply* sorry about all the swears, but as I said, as time goes on, my short temper gets worse and it's harder to control it, and given I'm surrounded by technology meant for 'entertainment' or 'relaxation' that LOVES breaking on me quite often, it ain't helping.
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