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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Jan 9, 2014 8:55:03 GMT -5
ug firefox updated and deleted my bookmarks history and everything -___-
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Jan 11, 2014 15:44:18 GMT -5
For those of you reading this by some odd means, prepare for a long @ss scream and then a huge rant as I try to cool off Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of these f*ckin days Im going to just haul off and beat the cr*p out of somebody! I have been up since 8 am no thanks to my sorry dog yappin at the top of his lungs. So I took the little mother f*cker to his lot down in the back yard so he would spend the day outside, and its so d*mn muddy here thanns to this f*cking rain that the post holding his door shut was knocked loose when he tried to climb out and the little idjit got loose and was on the front porch soon after I was back in bed. Then the old man (grandaddy) made me go out in the d*mned rain to get the fricken leash because he had just got in from the paper route and blah blah blah, as if I care at 9 am in the f*cking morning. So I go out in the d*mn rain and get soaked getting a d*mn leash, come back to be told take Oreo BACK to the lot and I flat out told him he could do it himself before I went back to bed. All this after I come back to find the door locked by my prissy aunt who thinks she rules the house, and when I pounded on it for her to unlock it she said cool the temper tantrum. I was so close to cussing her out but I managed to let a simple "Kiss my butt" out instead of what I was thinking. So I'm back in bed and Oreo will NOT shut up. Every f*cking hour he barks- the exact MINUTE of when I took him out- and will NOT let me sleep. So about 12:41 I give up and snap at some more people cause they wanna be smart @sses about the dog and all this sh*t. Then after taking care of him numerous more times, not including when I was trying to sleep and had to take his sorry butt out, Im finally eating something and reading my manga. Well I get tired of a kitchen stool so I go sit on my mom's bed and she complains about me reading in the "dark" when theres plenty of light, and her smart@ss husband who I want to knock the teeth out of more often than not, makes the remark that "But *insert my name here* knows more than any of us" and I ended up muttering that "And you're a bigger smart-A than I am" only to get a glare from my mother. Now Im having to deal with my f*ckin grandfather who thinks HE knows everything and having to repeat my G.D. self fifty million times that I took the f*cking dog out AFTER Grandma gave him water and he peed when I did. Then I offered him water and he didnt do jack, but apparently when he took him he peed a bunch of times (Wow Im so impressed old man!) and he wont shut the f*ck up and told ME to stuff it and shut up when I told him to. And all during this I was recieving negative feedback on a great idea I had for my other site Eggcave. My idea was a potion in the shop, that you pay real money for like the other 2, that will de-volve your creature if it evolves before you are able to buy the potion to freeze it in its current stage. Well theres certain creatures that are worth more in a egg stage than another stage and people are all blabbin about how my idea can f*ck all that up and screw up the whole economy of the site and how my idea has been suggested before and shot down every time. All of this, on top of hardly any sleep, AND I have to run the f*cking paper route tonight with my grandfather, which means no sleep until after 8 am tomorrow morning AFTER I take Oreo's sorry @ss out to his lot. And chances are my sister will wake me up non stop as she always does when Im trying to sleep, regardless of the warning Grandma gave her last week about it. And her excuse will likely be that she forgot. *breathes deep and silently fumes* Im ready to move to f*cking Vietnam if this keeps up. At least there I wont have to deal with barking dogs, just cooked dog. (sorry bout the stereotype to any Vietnamese people reading, Im just extremely p*ssed off) And when it isnt my dog keeping me up its my aunt's australian sheperd barking at sounds he doesnt know like neighbor dogs or cr*p like that, and when I tell him shut it my aunt gets p*ssy at me. Im ready to knock several heads together in this house and Im about ready to knock my dog senseless -__- edit: Another thing Im sick of is how people dont understand that Im at the very least mildly depressed, and that the attitude I give off is part of the symptoms, and that ordering me around only p*sses me off further. Im so sick of being here some days *sighs tiredly* I just want to be with Kylee and our son for a while and enjoy my happiness that they cause. They are one of the few things that make me happy during this time, and Im constantly restricted from talking to her because I "get a attitude" or "do something Im told not to" and my computer rights get revoked. Im almost 18 people, give me a f*cking break! You wonder why I choose to be on the computer so much, WHY I let it rule my life? Because Im sick of reality! Im sick of people around me because I never get a break from them. Im sick of being fussed at when I do something nice like uncover the pathway buried under 2 inches of dirt and my aunt's "plants" Im sick of my mom and her husband acting like they can boss me around when this isnt their own G.D. house, Im sick of having to lie to my paternal family about my girlfriend because they'd flip sh*t knowing Im dating somebody with a baby and it would be all "Your main focus should be college" and blah blah blah blah blah and my Nana would go through the roof if she found out, meanwhile my dad nagging about college has no room to talk considering he knocked up my mom when she was 15 and he was 17, and then I was born before either of them turned 16 and 18 respectively, so he has no d*mn room to talk about me having a child who isnt even genetically mine. He found out from a friend who saw my facebook status about getting in a relationship with Kylee and (through the phone) practically interogated me about it. I lied to him saying I was doing it to get her ex off her back, but honestly Im at the point where if he saw my post 2 days ago about happy 2 month anniversary I couldnt care less if I told him the truth because Im so sick of worrying about how everybody else will take things and how they feel. The only people whose opinions matter to me now, is Kylee and a select group of friends.Im sick of the internal struggles Im going through, when deep down I know what I truly want, but somehow cant make the surface understand that so the conflict will go away, Im sick of feeling like sh*t unless Im with friends or on my computer, Im sick of my artistic abilities being gone, Im sick of school work, Im sick of this winter weather, h*ll to a extent Im sick of life! I regret way too many things that never should have even happened, I regret some things that even though they hurt me and other people they got me where I am now with Kylee who is the best thing in my life (her and our baby) I regret carving my ex's name into my thigh with a exacto knife, I regret cutting up the back of my hand with a shard of my broken school computer screen WHILE my teacher watched me do it, and I regret a ton of other stuff I cant even begin to mention because I care about how you all view me as a person. Another thing Im sick of is how I give a f*ck about what people think. Im too chicken to do what I want or like what I do because its weird or its not mainstream. Im also sick of some of the fetishes I have because I dont want to like them, yet do. *laughs* I honestly didnt intend for this to be any longer than the whole this morning cr*p, but now that I've started I guess Im just letting out everything I've needed to let out the past few months. Im sick of randomly having the urge to cry because my body is so imbalanced and my emotional state rests on a highwire. Im sick of getting into arguments, Im sick of biting my tongue. Im sick of being a addict to my addiction, and Im sick of people I care about being hurt, and even people I dont know being hurt. This world we live in is completely f*cked up and Im sick of that too. Sure we as Americans sit around on our @sses and eat chips and soda and cr*p as we grow fat, then go out and see all this beautiful nature around us, that is if you're lucky enough not to live where nature is destroyed. Corporate greed is at a all time high and is f*cked up. The government is extremely f*cked up. Sure Obama, gun reform will completely resolve issues like Columbine and Sandy Hook Elementary, or the Aurora Colorado shooting. Take away the guns from the people who know how to PROPERLY USE and WHEN to use them, and leave those people defenseless, while others who are mentally unstable or just down right sadistic buy them off the black market and then go shoot up the helpless people. Makes complete sense. NOT. And the whole marriage deal, it says right there in the f*cking constitution that as PEOPLE not just Americans but PEOPLE, have the rights to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Last time I checked US Government, homos*xual people are people to, transs*xual people are people too. Now, logically, since said groups of people ARE PEOPLE, they are entitled to: Life. Liberty. And the Pursuit of Happiness. Now lets review, denying gay couples the right to marriage, hmm that seems to impede on their every day LIFE, their LIBERTY to marry who they please, and OH! It also stops them from being HAPPY together. Now, Im not one who is well versed in legal cr*p, but Im pretty sure that is completely against what our country is founded upon. Not to mention medical rights. Gay couples cant see each other in the hospital because they arent legally accepted as partners, they cant share medical plans with each other, and h*ll some hospitals have even turned them away! Theres another good place the world is screwed up. Hospitals. You ever wonder why so many people die of things they should have been cured of? Because doctors dont want to give them medication. They get paid more by letting a patient deal with a illness rather than curing them and getting paid once. Im not making this up, it was on the news so dont think Im being opinionated about it. In fact, why do hundreds if not thousand of people die of cancers every year? Theres a cure for cancer that was discovered using the bark of a tree found in the rain forest, it can even be made without stripping the tree of its bark, and theres other cures out there too, so why are people dying? Because the government makes money from patients. Its simple buisness logic, why settle for a one time profit when you can have a returning customer? The FDA doesnt allow these drugs to make it to market because they are making money from patients paying to get treatments that ARENT cutting it. My great aunt for example had a rare genetic lukemia. My grandfather was the only person of our family able to give her a bone marrow transplant, and she still ended up dying a couple years ago because they wouldnt administer the drugs that would have saved her. Another prime example of how the government f*cks people over WAS my great uncle Don. He died ON Christmas Day, 2 years ago because he was so stressed with all this government reform cr*p, and trying to handle the City Counsil's cr*p they were trying to put in place that would f*ck us up even further here in my hometown. Not only did I lose my aunt from government corruption, I lost my uncle and my cousins Derek and Jill lost their mother, while my cousin Stephanie lost her father. My cousin Jill's baby will never get to know his grandma because of how f*cked up America is. Back to the main topic though, the rest of the world is still f*cked up as well, theres war every time you turn around, nuclear weapons being manufactured and threatened to be used, and most of the wars hae to do with religion! Do I agree with the Muslim view of religion? No. Do I want to go blow myself up or kill innocent people all because they dont agree with me? H*ll no. And to those of you reading this that are Muslim, I do not mean you as a whole, I mean the select groups of extremists that give you a bad name. Thats another issue I have with all this religious warfare, innocent people are harmed on and off the battlefield. Children, mothers, wives, husbands, they are all killed every day over in places like Iraq and Afghanistan, when they are caught in the crossfire. But back here at home in America the very same people are being targeted as victims of murder, stereotyping, insults, and other violent crimes. That p*sses me off to no end, that the majority of Muslims- who are generally very nice people based on the ones I've met- are looked down upon or looked at in fear all because of a few extremist groups who paint a bad picture in everybody elses head that all Muslims are suicide bombers, or all Muslims are going to come shoot your family and blow up your homes, when in reality the Muslims who ARENT extremists- which happen to be MOST Muslims- look down on those extremists and fear them just like the rest of us do. Speaking of religion, and bringing up the earlier topic of gay marriage, get over it people. Im a devout Christian myself and I believe in the Bible and think its right. But regardless of what the Bible says about gay people and how God destroyed that one town because everybody was doing cr*p like murder and adultry and being gay, it also says that he loves ALL his children no matter what they do. His love is unconditonal, regardless the sin we commit. Now dont take that the wrong way, Im not saying that liking somebody of the same gender is a sin, because in my eyes it isnt, its love. People in general just really p*ss me off because of all the afore mentioned things, heres a message to the world. Grow up. Deal with it. Stop fighting. Love who you want to. Love each other. Get a grip on things and stop being so f*cked up. To those of you who have read all of this, I both apologize and thank you for reading.
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Jan 23, 2014 18:45:49 GMT -5
*sigh* well the doctors give my great grandmother 3 days to 2 weeks left to live :/ all this on top of my aunt being a pain, and my art teacher being a bigger pain than usual cause theres only 6 people in class *irritably rolls eyes*
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Jan 23, 2014 22:05:25 GMT -5
You see that guy over there laughing with friends and enjoying everything about life? You see how he smiles at the smallest things and laughs at the stupidest? You see how he stares out the window and just watches nature for minutes on end? He’s got a beautiful girl, she’s got a beautiful kid. He has great friends who would do anything for him and would shatter the kneecaps of anybody who hurts him. What you don’t see is how inside he is screaming for somebody to listen. How he’s scared to tell people how he REALLY feels because he cares about how THEY feel. How he bites his tongue at every snide remark, or every rebuke he gets from a teacher. How he wants to just punch a tree or chop at cinderblocks with his hand until his bones shatter. Nobody SEES the scar on his right thigh where he took a exacto knife and CARVED his ex’s name into it. Nobody SEES the cuts on the back of his hand he inflicted with his teacher watching the entire time. Nobody SEES how his heart breaks every second he spends away from his soulmate and child because they live in another state. Nobody SEES the real him, not even his girl, not even his best friends. Nobody sees how he HATES himself over a few quirks. How he HATES getting up some mornings because all it means is he has to face reality again. Nobody realizes that he lives his life on the computer because that’s where he feels most wanted. Where he feels he can talk to his friends about his issues because all he has to do is type a few words on a screen, not face to face. Nobody realizes that he prefers his virtual reality over the real reality because his online friends make him happy. That helping random people on a few of his sites brings a smile to his face. Nobody sees that, nobody realizes it. Nobody truly knows how deeply he hurts because of the people he has lost due to accidents, sickness, or just old age. Nobody knows how deeply losing his great aunt to leukemia several years ago cuts into him. Nobody knows the heartache he suffers over his lost great grandparents, or the great uncle he lost on Christmas day due to a heart attack. Nobody saw the puddle he cried at camp when he asked God to give him the strength to move past his regrets and to deal with the loss. Nobody sees the tears that threaten to fall as he types of those losses. Nobody can hear him scream inside his head. Nobody can hear that little part of him that’s truly happy when he is with his girlfriend for the few hours a day he gets with her online, or when he’s with his group of friends, or helping his soon to be friends. Nobody can hear that little part of him because he keeps it locked away from the world. He keeps that part of him locked away because the world is ugly and cruel. He keeps his real self locked behind his anger and pain and regret. Behind his quirks and self hatred and self-harm. He keeps that part of him hidden away because he doesn’t feel that anybody wants to see that side of him. That nobody wants to see who he really is and how he truly feels. People like him the way he is now, quiet, polite, doesn’t argue much, easy to push around and use. Why should he change if that’s how they like him? Nobody listens to the other side of him. Nobody listens to the nice side. Nobody knows the nice side, and those that knew the nice side before he became calloused and hard, are few and far in between. Nobody sees how sick he is of listening to other people. How sick he is of letting things slide because if he speaks up he’d be a social outcast. How sick he is of being pressured and being compared to his cousin who is so great and wonderful. How sick he is of holding this all in and the only way he has of letting it out is this document. Nobody sees that. And the way he sees it, nobody cares. But he’s tired of holding back. He is tired of keeping his mouth shut and not letting people know how he feels. He’s tired of feeling ok, and then realizing as he types these vents that he’s really not as ok as he thought, that he’s a hopeless mess. He’s tired of people, tired of circumstance, tired of everything. He’s just tired and needs a day off once in a while. I’m tired. I need a day off. That boy you see? That boy is me.
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Jan 24, 2014 19:28:47 GMT -5
yeah I got issues
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Jan 28, 2014 18:32:12 GMT -5
finally have a decent update for firefox
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 20:02:29 GMT -5
Cool!
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Feb 2, 2014 17:27:02 GMT -5
Im just not meant for love..
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Feb 2, 2014 18:50:06 GMT -5
feel like sh*t.. like I was castrated with no anesthetic.. my stomach has been cramping ever since I got on this d*mn computer.. my chest hurts and my heart aches more than I ever have before.. I knew I should have just stayed in my d*mned bed today.. lost my girlfriend.. lost my son.. why is it every d*mn time I fall in love and get in deep I get crushed... Im sick of crying.. Im sick of this heart ache.. and I just want to go curl up with Kylee and never let her go like I should have been able to in the first place.. my heart hurts because we live roughly half a state from each other.. why the h*ll cant I just go to her and stay forever.. just want to pull out my exacto and carve the Sheikah symbol into the back of my hand.. cause thats exactly how I feel.. hurt and betrayed.. like the Sheikah..
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Post by Sweeney Terrier on Feb 2, 2014 19:16:49 GMT -5
Awfully sorry to hear Oreo. Honestly.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2014 19:21:51 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that, Oreo.
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Feb 2, 2014 19:43:52 GMT -5
*sighs*
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2014 19:44:09 GMT -5
Bro, I"m so sorry to hear this. You've helped me through my hard times and now I"m gonna repay the favor. If there's anything, anything at all I can do for you, let me know.
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Post by Dark Knight Oreo Shellhound on Feb 2, 2014 19:52:36 GMT -5
Unless anybody can move me to Tennessee to be with her and for her to take me back, theres really nothing anybody can do.. sorry..
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2014 19:53:17 GMT -5
I really wish I could help, bro. I really do.
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