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Post by Cruella on Dec 15, 2012 15:32:46 GMT -5
I ... am ... loved ...
People basically banded together to say, "NO, WE'RE NOT LOSING YOU AGAIN AND DEFINITELY NOT TO THAT OF ALL THINGS WHEN YOU CHAMPION CHILDREN. WE LOVE YOU, COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS."
I #&(#%(&)@&!!!!!!!!!
I thought communities hated me and wanted to throw me out! I thought I had no home! I can't believe what I'm hearing!
Oh, I'm crying again.
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Post by Cruella on Dec 16, 2012 18:16:18 GMT -5
I'm going to be leaving on Friday. My computer won't survive another move, so there will be an absence.
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Post by Cruella on Dec 18, 2012 18:30:59 GMT -5
I am so mad and sad with Tumblr! I've been working a long time on a story, one-shots tied together to make a story. I had it on a private blog and was almost done. My plan was to come here and give out the password for critique. Tumblr ATE SEVEN-TENTHS OF IT. I saved it so many times, and it just ate it up anyway! I can't download Microsoft Word due to my weird computer, so I thought this was my best bet for now. Ugggggh. It was just some sappy one-shots, but I do think it was well-written and well-characterized. It had personal meaning, too. The original idea was reflections of Cruella and Ivy when Ivy had grown up. It expanded, and for the better. Now it's gone into the great cyber nowhere. I cried when I realized what happened. I shouldn't write stories. They die.
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Post by babclayman on Dec 18, 2012 18:34:57 GMT -5
Well, You could PM it to one of us, it'll send the whole thing and we can save it for you, if you like?
I am sure you can write good. You're getting a more modern Computer for Christmas, right?
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Post by Cruella on Dec 18, 2012 18:47:43 GMT -5
Well, You could PM it to one of us, it'll send the whole thing and we can save it for you, if you like? I am sure you can write good. You're getting a more modern Computer for Christmas, right? IT'S DEAD. IT WAS EATEN AND WHAT WAS SAVED IS THE BEGINNING OF ONE OF THE OLDER DRAFTS. I don't know how Tumblr did that! I don't feel like writing it again for a while. I'm too upset. It'll never be as good as it was. Yes, I'm hoping to get a more modern computer for Christmas, but the damage is done. Edit: Did I mention it wasn't script formatted because it couldn't be, and it was still good enough that I wasn't too shy to show it? AAAAAH.
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Post by Cruella on Dec 18, 2012 20:35:24 GMT -5
Oh well, at least I have new ideas that Tumblr’s gutting of the story can make it easier to work them into.
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Post by Cruella on Dec 23, 2012 16:54:23 GMT -5
Recently moved again, this time closer to my past.
I'm not religious, but my sister is a born-again Christian. I found out last night she's been going to a Methodist church, so today my immediate family joined her and her oldest daughter there.
Me: "Why this church?" Niece: "Because my mom's the kind of person who says, 'It's a church. I'm going because it is visible and a church.' She says that in spirit. She doesn't say the word 'visible' in language."
Well, the church wasn't bad. Sis and I - and our brothers, but mostly Sis and I, the youngest two and non-identical twins - were raised in strict Baptist churches that really did not want us there and acted like they were doing us great big favors by not throwing us out. I in particular tried hard to please the Baptist church, to no avail. I stayed with it for longer than my family did, and left at eighteen after they refused to even acknowledge me as a graduate because they didn't acknowledge disabled or mentally ill graduates. No, seriously, that was their policy, and ADA didn't exist at the time. Here I'd thought I was just the first such teenager to graduate and go to that church, but nope, there had been others not acknowledged. I didn't even get my senior photo on the wall of graduates, much less a scholarship. After all I'd done for them, that was my thanks. I left church forever, as a regular. I'll attend other churches for friends or family from time to time, but not as a regular.
Anyway, my sister's Methodist church really likes me and my immediate family. Apparently, my sister told them GREAT THINGS ABOUT US, which pleasantly surprises me. And they're having a party with free food tonight, so hurrah for that.
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Post by Cruella on Dec 23, 2012 22:16:42 GMT -5
I am not going back to the Methodist church. I cannot go back there without being extremely disturbed. I don’t know which of the older people heard what story about me, and now I’m scared too many heard the lie. The church had a candlelit sermon dedicated to the Sandy Hook victims, followed by a meal. I think it was a bit weird to follow up that sermon with a meal, but I digress. After the sermon, we were supposed to hold hands in a circle and pray. Josh (one of my nephews, the "normal" one) and Savannah (my oldest niece, the oldest of her siblings, the Ivy to my Cruella and oh lord was that on display tonight) ran toward my right side by happenstance, and then publicly fought with each other over who would have to stand by me. Josh lost, and he wouldn’t pull his hand out of his pocket. I whispered, “Oh, I am not playing this game with you, boy!”, pulled his hand out of his pocket, and clutched it. I thought the worst of the night would be people mistaking me as violent toward my nephew, but people seemed to brush it off with “oh, he’s a teenage boy”. Yes, he’s a teenage boy, but he didn’t need to act like he wanted nothing to do with me. When we ate the meal, I sat with some of the teens and kids. I usually do. They usually want me to. Savannah and Josh came to that table later, which was a strange choice for them given what had happened before. It became clear that Savannah sat there to show off to her church friends in the mean way she likes to show off to her friends, by calling me her r******d aunt. Only now she doesn’t say it. Now she does worse than say it. It was a great opportunity for her, too, since my older daughters weren’t at the same table to leap to my defense. Her teenage church friends acted really bizarre to me. “We didn’t know you had kids. Savvy didn’t tell us you had kids. They’re not your kids, are they? They can’t be your kids.” o.O “Yes, they’re my kids.” “Can we just pretend they’re not your kids so we won’t be uncomfortable?” “What’s uncomfortable about knowing they’re my kids?” This was followed by uncomfortable glances and whispering with Savannah. The whole rest of the meal was a bunch of creatively calling me ugly, saying “let’s pretend you don’t have kids”, saying “let’s pretend you don’t have a husband”, creatively telling me I’m stupid, and then “You’re weird.” “I’m Savvy’s aunt! :-)” “You’re weirder than Savvy.” “How come?” “You don’t GET anything!” My niece then joined in with, “They’re right! You never GET anything!” She KNOWS that this type of statement sets off depression in me. She just doesn’t care. Then a bunch of “You don’t GET anything” was added to the horrible conversation that I really wanted to exit but couldn’t because exiting would make me look worse. Afterwards, I asked my niece what all that was about. “I may have told them you’re my mentally challenged aunt that I’m going to be taking care of, and I may require you to play along to get what you want, stupid.” I have never been so tempted to cuss her out. I am NOT playing along. We are NOT playing that. That is disgustingly disrespectful, both to me and to people who are more disabled than myself. I don’t care if it is only a little over three months. For a longer time, she went behind my back to do that for no reason or because words were misheard and she preferred going with that story instead of the truth. Now she’s outright encouraging people to harass me. “Your niece loves you. She doesn’t initiate love, but she loves you.” That is not something to do with people you love - or to people you don't love! She told other people outside the church the same lie. I told her she was making me want to leave barely 24 hours after arriving. She just said "BYE!" and smirked at me. Three generations of mothers and daughters treating me like poop. My mother, my sister, and my niece. They learn it from each other and add their own NEW EXCITING TWISTS. Edit: Oh, to explain some parts of this, my niece gets the family's inheritance on her next birthday, this April. I don't get anything unless she decides to, oh I don't know, thank me for practically raising her.
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Post by Nemo on Dec 23, 2012 22:37:53 GMT -5
Wow that just.. that really left me speechless..
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Post by Cruella on Dec 25, 2012 0:12:54 GMT -5
I went to a pet store to buy my new dog and my cats some presents, and I fell in love with the two ferrets there. Camille (my dog) got along with them, my daughters who came with me wanted them, too, and one ferret ran up to me and the other was such a little sweetie, so guess what?
I HAVE FERRETS! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!
The male I named Scorch, after Cruella’s ferret from the TV show. He looks like him. He’s called a sterling silver ferret. My Scorch is HYPER. He’s young, hyper, and dramatic. He falls over for attention and is just very amused with himself, usually over nothing.
The female is a cinnamon ferret. I named her Sugar, because she looks like brown sugar and because she is very sweet. She’s very calm and cautious, and she kisses people.
My sister is being really mean. Everyone else is happy with the ferrets. Sis won’t stop saying they gross her out and that she doesn’t want to look at them, among meaner things. Good lord, even if they don’t understand English, I don’t want them to pick up on that hate! How can she hate such cute sweet babies, anyway?
My natal family is boring and depressing. They act like I’m not around when not stepping on me. I’m the woman they don’t like tolerating with the kids they don’t bother getting to know. They don’t get to know me, either, not really.
“She likes animals and children. Let’s just get her a pear ornament. Wow whee, we filled our obligatory gift quota of the year for her. By the way, does anyone know anything about Peru? Let’s not ask the woman who actually lived there. We forget she exists when we’re not using her.” - My relatives
Whaaaatever. I’m hoping that’s the last year I’ll visit those people for the holidays. It’s always better when I don’t and spend it with only my family who likes me, or my family who likes me and my old friends. At least my descendants get presents they like, because relatives like my kids they don’t bother knowing at least more than they like me, and they certainly like my nieces and nephews more than they like me.
Speaking of nieces and nephews, Savannah and Josh continue to be brats. I actually overheard them talking about how they “can’t” like me anymore because they’re smarter than me. I know Josh just wants Savannah to like him, so tells his sister what he thinks she’ll want to hear. I know teenagers can be mean. But this doesn’t come across as “oh, adults don’t understand teenagers”. This comes across as “we’re now mentally older than our aunt”. And I don’t know what to do to stop it.
I BOUGHT FERRETS.
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Post by babclayman on Dec 25, 2012 7:17:46 GMT -5
Awwww! You got ferrets! And you name them, Scorch!? That is Awesome! <3
You mind taking a photo of them, so we can see a real life, Scorch!?
Merry Christmas, Ella! ;3 Scorch will be well behaved, this season, right? B3
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Post by Cruella on Dec 25, 2012 8:20:28 GMT -5
Someone more technologically skilled than I will take photos soon!
I'm sure Scorch will be well-behaved, although I wish I could let him and Sugar scratch up my sister's magazines or something now. Sis thinks they're the offspring of rats and snakes, and she's afraid of rats and snakes. (She won't listen to logic. "They're not rats! They're part of the weasel family!" = "They're rats!" to her. Don't listen to the meanie lady, sweet babies!)
Sweet babies are snuggled together sleeping in the moment.
Edit: And they're awake! Oh my gosh, they're just so happy!
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Post by Cruella on Dec 25, 2012 11:31:53 GMT -5
Merry Christmas!
I’m going to start off by saying I love my presents from the younger generation. I’ve got drawings, coloring pages, My Little Ponies, clothes I like (- hey, I’m old enough that I don’t think clothes for Christmas are boring), jewelry I like, and a Panera gift card. I love my children and nieces and nephews. Even the brats got me likable shirts. (Edit for the forum; I copy and paste these longer posts from my main blog: My oldest niece is 17 going on 18 and I'm 47 going on 48, if you're curious about the timeline. It's five years behind a certain fictional timeline, and interestingly enough, I'm five years younger than April Winchell and we share a birth month.) And no one ran away from the presents I got them this year! Last year, one of my daughters, a toddler at the time, ran away from her toys. Adorable, but for her sake I’m glad this won’t be a reoccurring thing! My animals are also happy, although the cats are so old they couldn’t care less about their toys this year. “Plaaaay! Plaaaaay! I know you’re old, but have FUN with your LIVES!”
All this said, the adults in my family are so disappointing. I’m not talking about my husband, my friends, or my 18 year old daughter. They’re never disappointing, regardless of if they can afford anything. They show they care about me.
The adults I’m related to, excepting my 18 year old daughter who adores me, are disappointing because they don’t care. They don’t care all year round. It’s like they go out of their way to show they don’t care when it’s custom to give gifts. All I got from them was boring ornaments. For context, they gave each other gifts they’d all actually wanted and I already have too many ornaments to use at once. But they banded together to buy me boring ornaments and I felt like I was going to punch something if I opened one more d**n ornament. That wasn’t thinking of me. That was their way of saying “f*** you, obligatory gift receiver”. They pull things like that whenever I’m near them. When I’m not near them, they give me nothing. I’d rather get nothing than “f*** you, obligatory gift receiver” presents. I got nothing from my father, but I can’t recall the last time I got anything from either of my parents. I gave him desserts he had asked for. (My mother passed away in 2008.)
When I was growing up, this was particularly obnoxious because aside from my friends who couldn’t get whatever adults didn’t give them permission to give, I had only my relatives giving me “f*** you, obligatory gift receiver” gifts. That was dull, depressing, and with time, more and more insulting. The ornaments are honestly fantastic next to how insulting they used to be. The ornaments are insulting because they know I have too many ornaments, they bought things for each other that showed they cared about each other, and they made a point to repeatedly snap at me about how expensive the ornaments were, which was code for “**** you”. And of my several older than Generation Y relatives, only five gave me anything, and those five just gave me expensive ornaments that they angrily told me were expensive despite my pretending to act grateful.
They do this. They send passive-aggressive gifts. I don’t know why. If you hate me so much, send me nothing. If you feel like I’ve done enough for you that you’re not allowed to hate me, don’t waste your money on something I don’t want. Get me a gift card for coffee or something at much less the price of your silly ornaments, sheesh!
I’m the only person this family sends passive-aggressive gifts to. It’s been that way from the start.
I loved many aspects of my Christmas. Now, how does one make jewelry from ornaments?
Edit: Wow, I didn't realize my language was that strong! I tried to censor it manually, but it was still stronger than I thought! I'm sorry!
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Post by Cruella on Dec 25, 2012 12:47:50 GMT -5
Looking for things for my ferrets. WHO WOULD EVER pay $1,899 for THIS? "It's the Marshall Alligator!" Oh, okay. So does Marshall run the most overpriced pet store in the world? The Marshall Octopus toy which does less than the alligator was originally going for $1,999!
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Post by Cruella on Dec 26, 2012 17:18:21 GMT -5
I can't wait to move out of my sister's house. One week or so living here is too long. Half a week is already too long. She and her daughter fight, they're mean to everyone, Sis argues with everyone, and Niece is very disrespectful and Sis is at the point where she just takes it. Today, I witnessed the end of a long unnecessary prank where the only point was to make Sis feel stupid. Her daughter's reasoning? "I don't care. I do it because she's too stupid for me. You're not as stupid, but you're still pretty stupid, and you're insecure and easier to get rid of." OH GOLLY, THIS HOUSE
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